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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.17

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 17
New homes are necessary to build in many regions, but the only place available for them is in the rural areas. Several people argue that countrysides should be prevented and the construction of new houses should not be allowed there. In my opinion, the increasing public should be adjusted in the cities rather than making new homes in the villages. The rapid increase in the human state has pushed the boundaries, hencehence, the requirement for new houses is rising significantly. Therefore, people are demanding to occupy the empty spaces in the countrysides, the acquisition of land in these areas can affect the daily life of the people living there with severe impact on the food supply chain. Consequently, the construction of new residential buildings in those parts will slowly start taking over the farming land, in the near future, blindly increased acquisition of fertile area may disturb the food supply around the nation devastatingly. In order, maintain the food supply, governments may need to look for the other substitutes, like Importing grains and vegetables from abroad. In addition, they may compel the remaining farmers as well to use pesticides for enhancing their production, which can have serious impact on the economy of the country and the health of people. Furthermore, the government should take steps to control and contain the growing human population by alerting the residents and promoting apartment buildings in the cities which may help everybody, financially to save money and may also prevent the culture and lifestyle of the farmers living in villages. However, some people say that building new houses on country side will help poor farmers earn a high amount of money and eventually, it may in urbanizing the rural areas, so people can have easy access to the facilities, like schools and hospitals. In conclusion, I firmly believe that to accommodate the growing society it is not necessarily required to build new houses in the rural areas and the human populace should be contained in the cities rather than moving towards the villages which can destroy the farm lands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
homes are necessary to build in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place available for them is in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that countrysides should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
and the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
there. In my opinion, the increasing public should
be adjusted
in the cities
rather
than making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes in the villages.

The rapid increase in the human state has pushed the boundaries,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hencehence
, the requirement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is rising
significantly
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are demanding to occupy the empty spaces in the countrysides, the acquisition of land in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can affect the daily life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living there with severe impact on the food supply chain.
Consequently
, the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
residential buildings in those parts will
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking over the farming land, in the near future,
blindly
increased acquisition of fertile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
may disturb the food supply around the nation
devastatingly
. In order, maintain the food supply,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
may need to look for the other substitutes, like Importing grains and vegetables from abroad.
In addition
, they may compel the remaining farmers
as well
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
pesticides for enhancing their production, which can have serious impact on the economy of the country and the health of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to control and contain the growing human population by alerting the residents and promoting apartment buildings in the cities which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everybody,
financially
to save money and may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the culture and lifestyle of the farmers living in villages.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
on country side will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor farmers earn a high amount of money and
eventually
, it may in urbanizing the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have easy access to the facilities, like schools and hospitals.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that to accommodate the growing society it is not
necessarily
required to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and the human populace should
be contained
in the cities
rather
than moving towards the villages which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the farm lands.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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