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In some countries many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a positive or negative development v.2

In some countries many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a positive or negative development v. 2
Modern life indicates an increasing trend that more people seem to prefer living alone particularly in large cities in developed world. In my opinion, this trend could have both positive and negative effects in equal measure. People who choose to live alone completely have freedom to make decisions on how they live, that they don’t have to adapt to anyone else’s timeable. They can decide how to decorate house with their own style or can sleep whenever they want without fear of affecting other people. Besides, living alone mean they have to do everything themselves such as cooking, cleaning, washing, … this cause an improvement to their independent skills. In this view, it is totally a positive development to live in modern world. However, living alone style can be considered from the opposite angle. Nowadays the cost of living is higher than in the past so this trend can cause the burden of household bills while they can be able to reduce it by sharing with other people and spend money on other necessary needs. Moreover, people can experience the loneliness, boring lives and lacking of safety. When they get ill, it is difficult to get any help or they can miss out the supportive conversation with family or flatmates. In this sense, the trend towards living alone is a negative one. In conclusion, the increase in living alone will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on people lives.
Modern life indicates an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
particularly
in large cities in developed world. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
could have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in equal measure.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
completely have freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions on how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, that they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adapt to anyone else’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
timeable
. They can decide how to decorate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
style or can sleep whenever they want without fear of affecting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
mean they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do everything themselves such as cooking, cleaning, washing, … this cause an improvement to their independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In this view, it is
totally
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in modern world.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
style can
be considered
from the opposite angle. Nowadays the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is higher than in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
can cause the burden of household bills while they can be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it by sharing with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and spend money on other necessary needs.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience the loneliness, boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and lacking of safety. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ill, it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
help or
they can miss out the supportive conversation with family or flatmates. In this sense, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one.

In conclusion
, the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay In some countries many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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