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In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. v.2

In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. v. 2
Whether live sports on television avert youngsters from actually playing sports in real life is a controversial issue and deserves a thorough discussion. In my opinion, participating in different sports is far useful than only enjoying it on television, though watching a few games does not hurt. In this essay, I will discuss the view and present my opinion. To start with, many sports channels broadcast non-stop sporting competitions and many countries have ongoing tournaments. Young people these days have passions for numerous sports but hardly participate in outdoor sports. They prefer sports channel as part of entertainment rather than encouragement for their sportsmanship skill development. Non-stop sports on TV in a way deter youngsters from becoming sportsmen themselves. For example, more than half of my college friends are big fans of international sports like cricket and football but their personal experience on these games are quite limited. They are better critics of those games than players. Only sports channels are not responsible for this decay. The rise of video games and access to gaming consoles have fueled the trend. Furthermore, parents are responsible for this degradation as well. While parents should have encouraged children to play outdoor games, they are contented with the latest PlayStation and Xbox for their offsprings! In conclusion, the reluctance to play games rather than watching sports on TV has been kindled by the endless sporting programmes on TV, parents' apathy and widespread access to gaming devices. No doubt sports on TV can be a good way to enjoy our favourite team's performance but youngsters should not watch it all day long.
Whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on television avert youngsters from actually playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in real life is a controversial issue and deserves a thorough discussion. In my opinion, participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is far useful than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enjoying it on television, though watching a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
does not hurt. In this essay, I will discuss the view and present my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
channels broadcast non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
sporting competitions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have ongoing tournaments. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days have passions for numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hardly participate in outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
channel as part of entertainment
rather
than encouragement for their sportsmanship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development. Non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on TV in a way deter youngsters from becoming sportsmen themselves.
For example
, more than half of my college friends are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fans of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like cricket and football
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their personal experience on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are quite limited. They are better critics of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than players.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
channels are not responsible for this decay. The rise of video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and access to gaming consoles have fueled the trend.
Furthermore
, parents are responsible for this degradation
as well
. While parents should have encouraged children to play outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they
are contented
with the latest PlayStation and Xbox for their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
!

In conclusion
, the reluctance to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on TV has
been kindled
by the endless sporting
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on TV, parents' apathy and widespread access to gaming devices. No doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on TV can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to enjoy our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
team's performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
youngsters should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it all day long.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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