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In many parts of the word, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. v.1

In many parts of the word, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. v. 1
In these days, sports channels telecast almost all major sports events from across the world. It has become a cash cow of many television networks. At this juncture, many people, including talented ones, glue to the television. Though it brings about an extreme satisfaction to viewers, many youngsters fail to participate sports activities which are organised around. Firstly, sports events aired on the television drain a great deal of time of viewers. To be more precise, discussions and critics along with the sports episodes waste the valuable time of event watchers. By this problem, youngsters go to the ground once in a blue moon. Furthermore, many sports events such as test cricket serious call for many days to reach the final stage. A viewer who watches this kind of sports event on television hardly get time to participate other sports. To cite an example, world cup and cricket final telecasting time has become a holiday for many national and international stadium because of lack of participants. Secondly, television telecasts provide only theoretical knowledge of sports rather than practical knowledge. An unpracticed sportsman needs to pull his socks up to become a man of the match. In addition to that, a sportsman needs to hone his skills by continuous practical exposure. Moreover, they need to go the extra mile to become a national or international sports icon. Instead of paddle once own canoe, simply watch the sports event on the small screen does not facilitate to become a sports star. A recent sports magazine reports that the successful sportsman spent very less time to watch sports on television is the best epitome. By and large, I hold the view that the excess sports event watch on small screen badly affect the youngsters to come practical field. They enjoy events on the television as a piece of cake and they assume that the spot is a cake walk. Anybody really needs to become sports figure, they must put up with is practical sides.
In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
channels telecast almost all major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
from across the world. It has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a cash cow of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
networks. At this juncture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including talented ones, glue to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Though it brings about an extreme satisfaction to viewers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters fail to participate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
around.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
aired on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
drain a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of viewers. To be more precise, discussions and critics along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
episodes waste the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
watchers. By this problem, youngsters go to the ground once in a blue moon.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
cricket serious call for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days to reach the final stage. A viewer who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watches
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to participate other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To cite an example, world cup and cricket final telecasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a holiday for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
national and international stadium
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of participants.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
telecasts provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theoretical knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
knowledge. An unpracticed sportsman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to pull his socks up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
of the match.
In addition
to that, a sportsman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to hone his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
exposure.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go the extra mile to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a national or international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
icon.
Instead
of paddle once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
canoe,
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screen does not facilitate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star. A recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
magazine reports that the successful sportsman spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the best epitome.

By and large, I hold the view that the excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
screen
badly
affect the youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
field. They enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as a piece of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cake and
they assume that the spot is a cake walk. Anybody
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
figure, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put up with is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
sides.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the word, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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