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In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.3

In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past? v. 3
Family is an essential place where children can live, grow and continue their growth. In the past, it was a common view that a family had about ten or twelve children who lived together in a house. When people talk about a family, it is likely people think of how many family members are and how the way of their activity is. I think there must be some benefits to have as large as the family in the past. In many countries, living together with more than five or ten children was a popular status in a society and a prestige for most parents in the past. Some parents thought that the more children they had, the more fortunes and happiness would come. However, sharing life with a large family often had not brought a pleasure life for a child. For example, when a child asked money for paying tuition fee, their father got excuses because he did not have any money to pay, so the children got less and less often, and eventually they got altogether. Therefore, children who stayed with this family were very reared to enjoy their quality of life. On the other hand, children do not have any imagination to have a big family recently. Children think that when they are get a marriage and become a parent, they tend to have just two or three children, so they can go to work and increase life quality, and afford the fortunes. For example, Parents can buy their children some modern gadgets, go to get a holiday, and pay higher education. However, living in a small family is a novelty, I have seen some small families often get lonely at home, especially when get a celebration day. In my view, the best way to live is together with a whole family member, and a pleasure time is when all family members can share openly with each other. However, in the modern world, the best education and quality life outweigh the essential of life needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
is an essential place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, grow and continue their growth. In the past, it was a common view that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
had about ten or twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
together in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
talk about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it is likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are and how the way of their activity is. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to have as large as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the past.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, living together with more than five or ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was a popular status in a society and a prestige for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they had, the more fortunes and happiness would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
However
, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
had not brought a pleasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a child.
For example
, when a child asked money for paying tuition fee, their father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
excuses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he did not have any money to pay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
less and less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, and
eventually
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
altogether.
Therefore
,
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children
who stayed with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reared to enjoy their quality of life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have any imagination to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
recently.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a marriage and become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, they tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two or three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can go to work and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality, and afford the fortunes.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern gadgets, go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a holiday, and pay higher education.
However
, living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a novelty, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lonely at home,
especially
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a celebration day.

In my view, the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is together with a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member, and a pleasure time is when all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can share
openly
with each other.
However
, in the modern world, the best education and quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
outweigh the essential of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
needs.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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