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In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause? v.1

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause? v. 1
Many developed countries, there has been rapid movement of workers of different sectors moving from villages to nearby towns. There are various reasons for this kind of relocation of the public. This essay will discuss the reasons to move to cities followed by different problems will cause by relocating to metro areas. The predominant reason for the movement of public from rural areas to urban is because of lack of opportunities for their employment. Since the population of cities is considerably more than the villages, ultimately there would be more changes of getting jobs for the people. In addition to that, due to lack of educational resources in villages and the universities with poor internet connectivity for the students. By providing the adequate required resources only will shape the student's career for their future. There has been a wide range of issues will face with the people who lives in the villages by moving workers to metro cities. Firstly, the development of villages will be decreased drastically in terms public safety, health sector and rapid transportation. It's mainly because of the population and it will consider as a less priority by the government. Secondly, the communication gap would increase rapidly and it will lead human relationships of different age groups. For instance, in a recent report from the Times magazine revealed That around 70 percentage of human relations effected due to the mis-communication and not able to understand the situation since they are not physically at their location. To conclude that, this essay discussed the interests of the public to move from the rural areas to urban such as better employment opportunities and to access better education resources and the issues caused by the movement such as lack of development and human relationships.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, there has been rapid movement of workers of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors moving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
to nearby towns.

There are various reasons for this kind of relocation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. This essay will discuss the reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to cities followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems will cause by relocating to metro areas.

The predominant reason for the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
from rural areas to urban is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of opportunities for their employment. Since the population of cities is
considerably
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
,
ultimately
there would be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of getting jobs for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
to that, due to lack of educational resources in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
and the universities with poor internet connectivity for the students. By providing the adequate required resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will shape the student's career for their future.

There has been a wide range of issues will face with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
by moving workers to metro cities.
Firstly
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
will
be decreased
drastically
in terms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
safety, health sector and rapid transportation. It's
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the population and it will consider as a less priority by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Secondly
, the communication gap would increase
rapidly
and it will lead human relationships of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups.
For instance
, in a recent report from the Times magazine
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
revealed


That around 70 percentage of human relations effected due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-communication
and not able to understand the situation since they are not
physically
at their location.

To conclude
that, this essay discussed the interests of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from the rural areas to urban such as better employment opportunities and to access better education resources and the issues caused by the movement such as lack of development and human relationships.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the cities. Why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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