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In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What problems has this created? What solutions could be provided to prevent this? v.1

In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What problems has this created? What solutions could be provided to prevent this? v. 1
A lot of countries are facing the issue of air and water pollution. Firstly, this essay will discuss what problems this has created for the public. Next, it will talk about what are the possible solutions to avoid this. At this point, a large number of countries are dealing with bad air and water quality caused by industry and construction. Large companies throw there wastes in water or pollute the environment with toxic gases. This causes a lot of problems to the public, people start wearing masks due to the air quality and water is so toxic at some places that drinking without filter can cause diseases like dengue and malaria. For instance, Delhi, the capital of India, is the second most polluted city in the world and its air quality has been decreasing since 2016 says the Ministry of environment, India. A report by BBC news found that the air quality was equally as bad as smoking forty packs of cigarette and increased the chances of cancer by 40%. Burning of crops and industries are responsible for this in Delhi. Similarly, the same report found that the water quality in Banglore, India, is so terrible that if unfiltered water is consumed there is 80% chance of having a disease. Following this, with worse air and water come’s the risk of diseases. This can be eliminated if the authorities take strict actions. The best possible solution would be imposing heavy fines on those dumping chemicals in the water and those releasing carbon-dioxide in the air. Furthermore, making people aware about the effects bad environment condition has on people so that they themselves take initiative to help reduce the pollution in the city. For example, the government of Delhi announced strict ban on crackers, even on festivals, as they contribute equally to the pollution. In conclusion, factories should be held accountable for the troubles they are causing to the society and the nature. Strict measures should be taken against them and people should be acknowledged about the ongoing situation. With better environment comes better life for the living beings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
countries are facing the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss what problems this has created for the public.
Next
, it will talk about what are the possible solutions to avoid this.

At this point,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
countries are dealing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
caused by industry and construction. Large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
throw there wastes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
or pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
with toxic gases. This causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems to the public,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
wearing masks due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
toxic at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places that drinking without filter can cause diseases like dengue and malaria.
For instance
, Delhi, the capital of India, is the second most polluted city in the world and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
has been decreasing since 2016 says the Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, India. A report by BBC news found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
was
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
as smoking forty
Possible agreement error. The noun 'cigarette' seems to be countable; consider using: "packs of cigarettes".
packs of cigarette
and increased the chances of cancer by 40%. Burning of crops and industries are responsible for this in Delhi.
Similarly
, the same report found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Banglore
, India, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
terrible that if unfiltered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is consumed
there is 80% chance of having a disease.

Following this, with worse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "comes"?
come’s
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases. This can
be eliminated
if the authorities take strict actions. The best possible solution would be imposing heavy fines on those dumping chemicals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and those releasing carbon-dioxide in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Furthermore
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about the effects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
condition has on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they themselves take initiative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution in the city.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Delhi announced strict ban on crackers, even on festivals, as they contribute
equally
to the pollution.

In conclusion
, factories should
be held
accountable for the troubles they are causing to the society and the nature. Strict measures should
be taken
against them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be acknowledged
about the ongoing situation. With better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
better life for the living beings.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What problems has this created? What solutions could be provided to prevent this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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