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In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly, parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should p v.3

In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly, parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should p v. 3
It is widely believed that grown-up children should be granted to take some particular responsibilities for making their own decisions at the age of sixteen. I am on the belief that parents still have authorities on guiding their children at that time as long as it is not too much intervening. I will outline two measures that can be done by parents for guiding their children. First of all, the most important area is safety. Children tend to do something based on what they like but careless on its risks. Likewise, children are more curious than adults that they want to try anything. For instance, in some developing countries like Indonesia, especially in a village, many adolescents ride a motorcycle before they are 15 years old and they do not require a driving license. Commonly, they drive fast and do not wear a helmet. This issue needs parents’ attention. Therefore, parents should give advice and necessary information about the suitable time for them for riding a vehicle. Another measure is financial management. In some regions, most teenagers depend on their parents for money. It is my firm belief that guiding them on how to manage money from the young age will be valuable for their future. In addition, children could make a better decision on what their money should be spent on. For example, parents should give a particular amount of money regularly. They have to commit that there will be no extra funding even though it is hard up. Therefore, children’s awareness will go up and the probability of getting a part-time job is highly likely to happen. Proper guidance from parents can build a better future for the children. Teenagers often lack the experience for taking important decisions and the parents should always be friendly and supportive while guiding their children. In short, whilst young people are granted particular privileges at a certain age, parents still have authorities for controlling them but without too much intervening. Children still need guidance for their future wellbeing.
It is
widely
believed that grown-up
children
should
be granted
to take
some
particular responsibilities for making their
own
decisions at the age of sixteen. I am on the belief that
parents
still
have authorities on
guiding
their
children
at that time as long as it is not too much intervening. I will outline two measures that can
be done
by
parents
for
guiding
their children.

First of all
, the most
important
area is safety.
Children
tend to do something based on what they like
but
careless on its
risks
.
Likewise
,
children
are more curious than adults that they want to try anything.
For instance
, in
some
developing countries
like Indonesia,
especially
in a village,
many
adolescents ride a motorcycle
before
they are 15 years
old and
they do not require a driving license.
Commonly
, they drive
fast
and do not wear a helmet. This issue needs
parents’
attention.
Therefore
,
parents
should give advice and necessary information about the suitable time for them for riding a vehicle.

Another measure is financial management. In
some
regions, most
teenagers
depend on their
parents
for
money
. It is my firm belief that
guiding
them on how to manage
money
from the young age will be valuable for their future.
In addition
,
children
could
make
a better decision on what their
money
should
be spent
on.
For example
,
parents
should give a particular amount of
money
regularly
. They
have to
commit that there will be no extra funding
even though
it is
hard
up.
Therefore
,
children’s
awareness will go up and the probability of getting a part-time job is
highly
likely to happen.

Proper guidance from
parents
can build a better future for the
children
.
Teenagers
often
lack the experience for taking
important
decisions and the
parents
should always be friendly and supportive while
guiding
their children.

In short, whilst young
people
are granted
particular privileges at a certain age,
parents
still
have authorities for controlling them
but
without too much intervening.
Children
still
need guidance for their future
wellbeing
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. Clearly, parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. To what degree should p v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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