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In many countries women's do not want to get married. Some people argued that it's because they want to earn income and need a financial security. v.2

In many countries women's do not want to get married. Some people argued that it's because they want to earn income and need a financial security. v. 2
As compared to past decades, nowadays women' s are no longer interested in getting married. some people argued that it' s because they want to earn their own income and have a good financial security. In my opinion, I agree with this statement but there are also some factors involved with this issue which I discuss above. Women' s in present era have number of dreams and empowerment to fulfill their needs and wants. The requirements of growth and improvement in their life not only consist in terms of money but also to make herself independent and confident among their family members and as well in friends. Before marriage most of the women' s today demands to acquire better source of wealth to live her life efficiently and give towards the standard of living with her partner. However, sometimes she is afraid to be tied down and feels like she is not getting enough freedom after marriage to do anything. To illustrate, she feels overburdened by responsibilities and may it involves the fear of not having capacity to survive in it. Many of women' s got cheated and she had faced heartbreak, so no more she will be able to being again in a relationship because of losing faith in love and scared to confronted again in the same situation. Additionally, the divorce rate also increases in the different countries because of incompatibility, misunderstanding and lack of communication which comes under the major reason of not to get married in case of women' s. Another, the greed of power and authority and focusing on work life, short time for family and spouse can make disaster and disputes, and its hard time after marriage for resolving these things. The most important part of marriage is deep connection and love, which can' t be found easily and people stays single for a long time. To end this, I support this argument but there are few closely related facts come along with it, and probably this problem will be more likely to grow in the future. likely to grow in the future
As compared to past decades, nowadays
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s are no longer interested in getting married.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to earn their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial security. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors involved with this issue which I discuss above.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Women&
#039; s in present era have number of dreams and empowerment to fulfill their needs and wants. The requirements of growth and improvement in their life not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consist in terms of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
herself independent and confident among their family members and
as well
in friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
demands to acquire better source of wealth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
her life
efficiently
and give towards the standard of living with her partner.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
she is afraid to
be tied
down and feels like she is not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
freedom after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
to do anything. To illustrate, she feels overburdened by responsibilities and may it involves the fear of not having capacity to survive in it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cheated and
she had faced heartbreak,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no more she will be able to being again in a relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of losing faith in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and scared to confronted again in the same situation.
Additionally
, the divorce rate
also
increases in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of incompatibility, misunderstanding and lack of communication which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
under the major reason of not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married in case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s.

Another, the greed of power and authority and focusing on work life, short time for family and spouse can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
disaster and disputes, and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
for resolving these things. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is deep connection and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t
be found
easily
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
stays
single for a long time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this, I support this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are few
closely
related facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with it, and
probably
this problem will be more likely to grow in the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likely
to grow in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
future
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries women's do not want to get married. Some people argued that it's because they want to earn income and need a financial security. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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