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In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.5

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 5
Over the past decades, children's development has never failed to draw public attention. It has recently been acknowledged that the eating habits and lifestyle of children has drastically changed compared with those of previous generations. In my opinion, I entirely agree that this trend has led to deterioration in children's life. To begin with, it is obvious that children's eating habit has changed significantly. Firstly, children are more prone to fast food rather than home-prepared meals. As a matter of fact, these types of foods are low in nutrition, high in fat and calories which cause several serious diseases such as obesity or cardiovascular disease. These sickness make as a deterrent to children's development in cognitive, physical and mental terms. Secondly, it is clear that modern parents are too busy with their work that do not have insufficient time preparing nutritious meals for the children. Therefore, they are inclined to eating out, which may results in food poisoning because food hygiene is not guaranteed. Furthermore, the way of living and addiction to temptation on the virtual world has created huge effect on children. It is said that most of children in the modern time are addicted to video games that they spend almost time sitting playing games. They are no longer doing exercises and hanging out with friends. As a result, this sedentary lifestyle is no doubt deter them from socializing with others and gradually leads to anti-social behaviors among children. Comparing to the past, children were spending more time on sports and cultural activities like dancing, singing and playing which made them very fit and could get more involved with their neighbors and society. In conclusion, although none of these changes could, on its own, have caused widespread harm to children’s health, there can be little doubt that all of them together have had a devastating effect. Personally, this can only be reversed by encouraging children to return to move traditional ways of eating and living.
Over the past decades,
children's
development has never failed to draw public attention. It has recently
been acknowledged
that the
eating
habits and lifestyle of
children
has
drastically
changed
compared with those of previous generations. In my opinion, I
entirely
agree
that this trend has led to deterioration in
children's
life. To
begin
with, it is obvious that
children's
eating
habit has
changed
significantly
.

Firstly
,
children
are more prone to
fast
food
rather
than home-prepared meals. As a matter of fact, these types of
foods
are low in nutrition, high in
fat
and calories which cause several serious diseases such as obesity or cardiovascular disease.
These sickness
make
as a deterrent to
children's
development in cognitive, physical and mental terms.
Secondly
, it is
clear
that modern parents are too busy with their work that do not have insufficient
time
preparing nutritious meals for the
children
.
Therefore
, they
are inclined
to
eating
out, which may results in
food
poisoning
because
food
hygiene is not guaranteed.

Furthermore
, the way of living and addiction to temptation on the virtual world has created huge effect on
children
. It
is said
that most of
children
in the modern
time
are addicted
to video games that they spend almost
time
sitting playing games. They are no longer doing exercises and hanging out with friends.
As a result
, this sedentary lifestyle is no doubt deter them from socializing with others and
gradually
leads to anti-social behaviors among
children
. Comparing to the past,
children
were spending more
time
on sports and cultural activities like dancing, singing and playing which made them
very
fit and could
get
more involved with their neighbors and society.

In conclusion
, although none of these
changes
could, on its
own
, have caused widespread harm to
children’s
health, there can be
little
doubt
that all of them together have had a devastating effect.
Personally
, this can
only
be reversed
by encouraging
children
to return to
move
traditional ways of
eating
and living.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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