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Using a computer every day can have more negative that positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Computer is commonly used nowadays. We widely using it everywhere, including schools, hospitals, supermarkets and banks. However, is it good for children to use it every day? There are many discussions showing that there are more side effects. Reports illustrated that it will affect the eyes of children. As children' eyes are still developing, they will easily get short-sighted eyes, which it is irreversible. Although they can do some treatments to fix it when they are growth, the retina will become thinner and may cause other problems. In addition, some universities investigated that due to the convenience of computer, children will easily loss their memory. Children do not need to memorize anything as they only need to check from the computer to get back their memory. Last but not least, there are a great deal of information that is not suitable for children but they can still find it in the internet. In fact, there are many parents do not know how to restrict information showing in computer. Obviously, children do not have enough knowledge to filter which is the truth. From my point of view, I also agree there are more disadvantage than advantage for children to use it every day, nevertheless, we have to use it every day. Therefore, I would suggest information stakeholders should confirm their information to be real before release it in the internet. For parents, you should at least limit the time for using the computer in order to reduce the physical damage to your children. You may also seek help from teachers for how to filter information.
Computer is
commonly
used
nowadays. We
widely
using it everywhere, including schools, hospitals, supermarkets and banks.
However
, is it
good
for
children
to
use
it every day? There are
many
discussions showing that there are more side effects.

Reports illustrated that it will affect the eyes of
children
. As children' eyes are
still
developing, they will
easily
get
short-sighted eyes, which it is irreversible. Although they can do
some
treatments to
fix
it when they are growth, the retina will become thinner and may cause other problems.

In addition
,
some
universities investigated that due to the convenience of computer,
children
will
easily
loss their memory.
Children
do not need to memorize anything as they
only
need to
check
from the computer to
get
back their memory.

Last
but
not least, there are a great
deal
of
information
that is
not suitable for
children
but
they can
still
find it
in the internet
. In fact, there are
many
parents do not know how to restrict
information
showing in computer.
Obviously
,
children
do not have
enough
knowledge to filter which is the truth.

From my point of view, I
also
agree
there are more disadvantage than advantage for
children
to
use
it every day,
nevertheless
, we
have to
use
it every day.
Therefore
, I would suggest
information
stakeholders should confirm their
information
to be real
before
release it
in the internet
. For parents, you should at least limit the time for using the computer in order to
reduce
the physical damage to your
children
. You may
also
seek
help
from teachers for how to filter
information
.
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IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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