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In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.4

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 4
As the world is advancing towards rocket science and its use. people and children are adapting to these changes in the environment. As a result the eating habits and lifestyle of children has drastically changed when we compare with those of previous generations. I completely agree that this change has created a negative effect on their health, at the same time, let us discuss the changes and its effect on children. Firstly, the eating behaviors have changed nowadays, children no more eat fruits and vegetables as much as previous generations. Processed food and fast food become favorite dishes in this generation. As kids are addicted with the deliciousness of fast food tastes unlike having blade taste from healthy dishes, it will be difficult to convince them to cut down the amount of fast food consumption. Not only fast food concern that becomes a big issue in children health, but other sweet products such as chocolate, candy or cake also another concern for children. Having sweetness products has already affected on their healthy, as many studies found that kids in western countries have diabetes problem in their early ages because they consume high level of sugar excessively. Secondly, in term of lifestyle, children in the past used to walk or play with their peers on the way from home to school, whereas nowadays they travel by their parents’ private vehicles and have less work out instead. This cannot blame only transportation modes but it is also caused from other factors such as too much rely on technological devices or stressful from academic. Many gadgets such as computers or video games deprive time for physical activities in children. Schools also tend to focus only academic and ignore to encourage students to play sports which unlike in the past. Moreover, children lifestyle also leads to lack of socialising with other people. More and more children nowadays spend time playing computer games in their bedroom which have beneficial outcomes to train their mind. In contrast, this habit has many disadvantages, for example, becoming addicted which lead to the lack of contact with their friends and also get sick because they never do exercises. Furthermore, the children should be able to manage time wisely between playing computer games and socialising with other people. To sum up, although none of these changes could, on its own, have caused widespread harm to children’s health, there can be little doubt that all of them together have had a devastating effect. This, in my opinion, can only be reversed by encouraging children to return to move traditional ways of eating and living.
As the world is advancing towards rocket science and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are adapting to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the environment.
As a result
the eating habits and lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
when we compare with those of previous generations. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has created a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their health, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and its effect on children.

Firstly
, the eating behaviors have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
no more eat fruits and vegetables as much as previous generations. Processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
become favorite dishes in this generation. As kids
are addicted
with the deliciousness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
tastes unlike having blade taste from healthy dishes, it will be difficult to convince them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
concern that becomes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sweet products such as chocolate, candy or cake
also
another concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Having sweetness products has already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on their healthy, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies found that kids in western countries have diabetes problem in their early ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consume high level of sugar
excessively
.

Secondly
, in term of lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to walk or play with their peers on the way from home to school, whereas nowadays they travel by their parents’ private vehicles and have less work out
instead
. This cannot blame
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
transportation modes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
caused from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as too much rely on technological devices or stressful from academic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
gadgets such as computers or video games deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for physical activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Schools
also
tend to focus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
academic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
to encourage students to play sports which unlike in the past.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lifestyle
also
leads to lack of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing computer games in their bedroom which have beneficial outcomes to train their mind.
In contrast
, this habit has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages,
for example
, becoming addicted which lead to the lack of contact with their friends and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they never do exercises.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
between playing computer games and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, although none of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
could, on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, have caused widespread harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health, there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Consider using a past participle here: "doubted".
doubt
that all of them together have had a devastating effect. This, in my opinion, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be reversed
by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to return to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
traditional ways of eating and living.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
433 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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