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In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 2
As the world is changing day by day compared to the past, the aspect of eating habit and lifestyle of children is adapting to these changes as well. Some people believe that the new eating habit and lifestyle have negative effects on children's life especially their health. In my opinion, I fairly agree that this trend has some dangerous influences. The drawback of it will be presenting on this paper. On the one hand, It is important to notice that the current children is more likely to be obese and also weaker than children in the past. First of all, due to the busy life of earning a living, many families decides to allow their children to take in fast food and junk food as a home-cooked meals alternative. However, fried chicken or pizza contains only a small quantity of nutrition and vitamin but fat and carb are the most, which leads to the obesity of the youth; meanwhile, in the young ages, it is better to consume nutritious food to develop the brain. Moreover, being over-weighted causes the lack of excercises among teenagers which is the primary reason why, the physical health of children thesedays is getting weaker and weaker. Thus, it is important to become aware of the disadvantage of this kind of food. . On the other hand, though having some drawbacks, the new eating habit does have some advantages on children’s health. Firstly, people in the present draw more attention on the nutrition of the meals than the previous generations. Particularly, many researches on vitamins, minerals, etc of food have been made driving the higher standard of everyday meals. Another reason is that in the present, the majority prefer to consume organic and fresh food, which is the contributor to a healthy lifestyle. Finally, many new sports have been created resulted in the improvement of children’s strength and flexibility. This is because children have more options to play a sports suitable for them. In conclusion, both the pros and cons of new eating habits and lifestyle cannot be denied. However, it is the responsibility of parents to pay attention to the diet and activities of their children.
As the world is changing day by day compared to the past, the aspect of
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eating
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habit
and
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lifestyle
of
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children
is adapting to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on children's life
especially
their health. In my opinion, I
fairly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
influences. The drawback of it will be presenting on this paper.

On the one hand, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to notice that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is more likely to be obese and
also
weaker than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, due to the busy life of earning a living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as a home-cooked meals alternative.
However
, fried chicken or pizza contains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
quantity of nutrition and vitamin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and carb are the most, which leads to the obesity of the youth; meanwhile, in the young ages, it is better to consume nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to develop the brain.
Moreover
, being over-weighted causes the lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
excercises
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
which is the primary reason why, the physical health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
is getting weaker and weaker.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to become aware of the disadvantage of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the other hand
, though having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, the
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the present draw more attention on the nutrition of the meals than the previous generations.
Particularly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researches on vitamins, minerals, etc of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
have
been made
driving the higher standard of everyday meals. Another reason is that in the present, the majority prefer to consume organic and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which is the contributor to a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sports have
been created
resulted in the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
strength and flexibility. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more options to play a sports suitable for them.

In conclusion
, both the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
cannot
be denied
.
However
, it is the responsibility of parents to pay attention to the diet and activities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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