Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 1
Eating habits are always taken into consideration due to its importance on health in general. However, these days, there is a debate surrounding the idea that the eating lifestyles of children are changing negatively. In this essay, I will discuss both the bad and good changes in teenagers’ eating habits. In terms of the negative effects, nowadays, people are more prone to eating junk food with a high amount of fat and consuming fewer vegetables due to the busy lifestyles and its convenience. This leads to an increasing number of obesity and heart diseases among young people. Moreover, along with the development of technology, teenagers are more addicted to video games and smartphones, resulting in their laziness and less commitment to outdoor activities. But, looking at the past when there were no phones and life was much easier back then, children would go out and take part in sports and make new friends. However, as the world progresses, the awareness of people around us starts getting higher. People have become more conscious of what is going on in the world. For example, knowing the bad effects of plastic on the environment, non-plastic materials like rice straws or fibre cups are gradually put into practice, replacing plastic ones. Also, the number of vegetarians has strongly increased because meat-eating has been described as “damaging to the environment and also to our health”. Besides, trends like “Eat clean”, “Go Green”, etc. are praised and supported, encouraging everyone to be more aware of their health and the world. In conclusion, even though it is hard to diminish the bad eating habits and lifestyles that children are living, each individual, along with the help of their parents and the social media, can motivate themselves to eat properly and lead a much healthier lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Eating
habits are always taken into consideration due to its importance on health
in general
.
However
, these days, there is a debate surrounding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
of children are changing
negatively
. In this essay, I will discuss both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.

In terms of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
junk food with a high amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and consuming fewer vegetables due to the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
and its convenience. This leads to an increasing number of obesity and heart diseases among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, along with the development of technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are more addicted to video games and smartphones, resulting in their laziness and less commitment to outdoor activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, looking at the past when there were no phones and life was much easier back then, children would go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in sports and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends.

However
, as the world progresses, the awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
getting higher.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have become more conscious of what is going on in the world.
For example
, knowing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of plastic on the environment, non-plastic materials like rice straws or
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibre' is British English.
fibre
cups are
gradually
put into practice, replacing plastic ones.
Also
, the number of vegetarians has
strongly
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
meat-eating has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as “damaging to the environment and
also
to our health”.
Besides
, trends like “Eat clean”, “Go Green”, etc.
are praised
and supported, encouraging everyone to be more aware of their health and the world.

In conclusion
,
even though
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to diminish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
that children are living, each individual, along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their parents and the social media, can motivate themselves to eat
properly
and lead a much healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts