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In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 3
We are observing the young generation who have made plenty of changes in every aspect of life. Some are inventive and meaningful but some are not really accepted by their predecessor especially about their eating instincts and lifestyles. In my opinion, I prefer to not decide if these changes really do harm to their health and stay neutral because I see both of advantages and drawbacks of this issue. On the one hand, in many developed countries, the young especially teenagers are consuming too much fast foods that contain vast amount of sugar, additives, chemical colors but low nutrients instead of vegetables and proteins which is conventionally prepared. This has led to the rising number of people having obesity and diabetes. And I won't deny that it is clear there are a deterioration in health of nowadays generation. Also, some kids are likely to stay indoors more than their former generation and stick to video games and computers. Furthermore, staying up late at night and waking up late are the common habits of today's teenagers because of their school tasks, deadlines or maybe just a chat with their friends. However, the young today are not always careless about their health and their life. Trends such as eating organic products, becoming vegetarian are set up by many young persons to raise the awareness of healthy body and acquiring a longevity in their life. Clubs of sport are established more and more by youngsters to earning a good shape and good health state. What is more, they become activists who give helps not only for people at their age but also the elders who want to become healthy to approach to many health instructions and helpful information about medic and ways to protect health. And despite having a busy life, some people are trying to find their own way to playing sports and eating rationally. In conclusion, I believe that though the changes that the modern generation has made may be not really suitable for the previous generation, they are just a justification to the society. So they must have weak spots and strengths that we need to considerate properly
We are observing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation who have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are inventive and meaningful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by their predecessor
especially
about their eating instincts and lifestyles. In my opinion, I prefer to not decide if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
really
do harm to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and stay neutral
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
both of advantages and drawbacks of this issue.

On the one hand, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are consuming too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods that contain vast amount of sugar, additives, chemical colors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
low nutrients
instead
of vegetables and proteins which is
conventionally
prepared. This has led to the rising number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having obesity and diabetes. And I won't deny that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
there are a deterioration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of nowadays generation.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids are likely to stay indoors more than their former generation and stick to video games and computers.
Furthermore
, staying up late at night and waking up late are the common habits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their school tasks, deadlines or maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a chat with their friends.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are not always careless about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Trends such as eating organic products, becoming vegetarian
are set
up by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
persons to raise the awareness of healthy body and acquiring a longevity in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Clubs of sport
are established
more and more by youngsters to earning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
state.
What is more
, they become activists who give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at their age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the elders who want to become healthy to approach to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
instructions and helpful information about medic and ways to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. And despite having a busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are trying to find their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to playing sports and eating
rationally
.

In conclusion
, I believe that though the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that the modern generation has made may be not
really
suitable for the previous generation, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a justification to the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have weak spots and strengths that we need to considerate
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
properly
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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