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In many countries today people are choosing to have fewer children. Why is this case? What are the effects of this trend on society? v.2

In many countries today people are choosing to have fewer children. Why is this case? What are the effects of this trend on society? v. 2
People in different parts of the world are opting to have limited number of offspring. In this essay I will expound various reasons causing this and its impact on the society. Firstly, it is evident that resources are scarce and growing population worldwide is a huge matter of concern to people, societies and governments. For instance, scientists have predicted that by the end of 2050 world will face acute shortage of drinking water and food therefore, population control is the way forward. Another reason is the overall deteriorating quality of life such as health, security and education facilities provided by the government. Furthermore, it is easier for parents to raise two kids by giving them an excellent education and a better life instead of having more children with weak foundations and no future. Finally, overpopulation causes poverty, illiteracy, crime, health issues, hyperinflation, and starvation. There are many positive impacts of having a small family from micro as well as macroeconomic perspective. Firstly, family planning helps in boosting socioeconomic development from a single household to the entire country. Secondly, having controlled population rate allows governments to offer its citizens with better healthcare, security, education, infrastructure, and job opportunities. For example NHS in United Kingdom offers best government-funded health facilities. Additionally, birth control helps families to raise their children in the best possible way and later they return back to the society by contributing in the country’s progress. It is also a known fact that, countries having controlled population such as Norway, Switzerland, USA, and Japan are more developed, rich, progressive and happy nations. However, one downside to this would be low number of young population in the country’s workforce, but that can be corrected by introducing effective laws and policies. To recapitulate it, family planning plays an important role in an individual lives and greatly benefits the society by saving man-made and natural resources. It helps parents in deciding best future for their children and for themselves. Having a small family is the key to bright future for parents, society as well as governments.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world are opting to have limited number of offspring. In this essay I will expound various reasons causing this and its impact on the society.

Firstly
, it is evident that resources are scarce and growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
worldwide is a huge matter of concern to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
For instance
, scientists have predicted that by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2050 world will face acute shortage of drinking water and food
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
control is the way forward. Another reason is the
overall
deteriorating quality of life such as health, security and education facilities provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Furthermore
, it is easier for parents to raise two kids by giving them an excellent education and a better life
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more children with weak foundations and no future.
Finally
, overpopulation causes poverty, illiteracy, crime, health issues, hyperinflation, and starvation.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from micro
as well
as macroeconomic perspective.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in boosting socioeconomic development from a single household to the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to offer its citizens with better healthcare, security, education, infrastructure, and job opportunities.
For example
NHS in United Kingdom offers best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-funded health facilities.
Additionally
, birth control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to raise their children in the best possible way and later they
Consider using "return".
return back
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by contributing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
progress. It is
also
a known fact that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
such as Norway, Switzerland, USA, and Japan are more developed, rich, progressive and happy nations.
However
, one downside to this would be low number of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
workforce,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that can
be corrected
by introducing effective laws and policies.

To recapitulate it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
planning plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
greatly
benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made and natural resources. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
parents in
A determiner is probably missing here: "deciding the best".
deciding best
future for their children and for themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the key to bright future for parents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today people are choosing to have fewer children. Why is this case? What are the effects of this trend on society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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