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In many countries today, celebrities have higher salary than politicians. Why are the reasons for this. Is this a good development? v.1

In many countries today, celebrities have higher salary than politicians. Why are the reasons for this. Is this a good development? v. 1
The popularity and income earning of celebrities have become a matter of discussion in recent times that some people believe they can earn more than politicians. This essay attempts to discuss the reasons behind this and then give a personal opinion on whether this is a good or bad development. Firstly, there are wide ranges of reasons why celebrities can have higher salary than politicians. The first reason might not be unconnected to the booming of the entertainment industry. In many countries the industry is developing. For instance, the industry contributes significantly to Gross Domestic Products of many countries. The number two reason is the fact that their work is more rigorous, not to mention it requires more professional practice as well as innate talent and creativity than the work of politians. The evidence of this can be seen in the popular movie — Game of Thrones. Interviews with the actors and actresses revealed that they found the acting very challenging and strenuous. On my personal note, I believe this is not a good development because it can make the politicians envious. For instance, it is not uncommon —especially in developing countries — to see politicians buying latest vehicles when they see eyes of the world (movie stars and musicians) doing the same. In conclusion, the reasons why celebrities can earn higher than politicians is because of the development of the entertainment industry, and additionally, there work is often more difficult than that of political office holders. I also believe that this is not a welcoming development because it can lead to jeolosy by the politicians.
The popularity and income earning of celebrities have become a matter of discussion in recent times that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe they can earn more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
. This essay attempts to discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this and then give a personal opinion on whether this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
development.

Firstly
, there are wide ranges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why celebrities can have higher salary than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
might not
be unconnected
to the booming of the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is developing.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
contributes
significantly
to Gross Domestic Products of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. The number two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the fact that their work is more rigorous, not to mention it requires more professional practice
as well
as innate talent and creativity than the work of
Possible spelling mistake found.
politians
. The evidence of this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the popular movie — Game of Thrones. Interviews with the actors and actresses revealed that they found the acting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging and strenuous.

On my personal note, I believe this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
envious.
For instance
, it is not uncommon —
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
— to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
buying
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
vehicles when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eyes of the world (movie stars and musicians) doing the same.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why celebrities can earn higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, and
additionally
, there work is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more difficult than that of political office holders. I
also
believe that this is not a welcoming development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
jeolosy
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, celebrities have higher salary than politicians. Why are the reasons for this. Is this a good development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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