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Boxing is a bloody sports which often results in physics injuries. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Boxing is a bloody sports which often results in physics injuries. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. v. 2
Boxing is a violent physical training such as karate, mixed martial arts and other sports connected with fights, so in relevant time the government should stop this bloody art and as a result lots of deaths related with it. This essay totally agrees with this opinion because it is morally correct thing to do, and it will decrease cruelty in the society. On the one hand, boxing is a hard non-healthy insecure sport with lots of agression. There are many classes for children and adults around the world for instance, this occupation is a part of the culture in some countries but it is also educates younger generation to resolve the conflicts with force. For example, a survey carried out at University of New York found that sportmen who are going in such kind of hobby are more hot-tempered than ordinary men and solve their problems without communication. On the other hand during contact sport you can get multiple dangerous injuries likewise broken arms and legs, hips, nose, neck and even death. To illustrate, 80% of duels have finished with trauma and 10% of participans should go to the hospital. This convincingly demonstrates the need of spreading the information about rumbling. In conclusion, this essay agree that boxing is a cruel sport and to change public perception of blood fights it is necessary to explain humanity about hamful and violence that it carries to the world. I hope, in the future such traumatic unsafe competitions will move away from the Terra.
Boxing is a violent physical training such as karate, mixed martial arts and other
sports
connected with fights,
so
in relevant time the
government
should
stop
this bloody art and
as a result
lots of deaths related with it. This essay
totally
agrees
with this opinion
because
it is
morally
correct thing to do, and it will decrease cruelty in the society.

On the one hand, boxing is a
hard
non-healthy insecure
sport
with lots of
agression
. There are
many
classes for children and adults around the world
for instance
, this occupation is a part of the culture in
some
countries
but
it is
also
educates younger generation to resolve the conflicts with force.
For example
, a survey carried out at University of New York found that
sportmen
who are going in such kind of hobby are more hot-tempered than ordinary
men
and solve their problems without communication.

On the other hand
during contact
sport
you can
get
multiple
dangerous
injuries
likewise
broken arms and legs, hips, nose, neck and even death. To illustrate, 80% of duels have finished with trauma and 10% of
participans
should go to the hospital. This
convincingly
demonstrates the need of spreading the information about rumbling.

In conclusion
, this essay
agree
that boxing is a cruel
sport
and to
change
public perception of blood fights it is necessary to
explain
humanity about
hamful
and violence that it carries to the world. I hope, in the future such traumatic unsafe competitions will
move
away from the Terra.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Boxing is a bloody sports which often results in physics injuries. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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