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In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children T v.2

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children T v. 2
There is no question that standards of behaviour have fallen among teenagers. The popular belief is that the principle cause is that parents are unable to supervise their children because they are away at work. I only partially agree with this viewpoint as there are other important factors too. It is undeniable that parents should bear some responsibility for the actions of their teenaged children. This is particularly true when they are absent from the home and not in a position to control their children. The argument is that if they were at home, then they would be able to make certain that their children did not join gangs and spent their time on socially acceptable activities. However, it can also be said that working parents are in fact setting a good example to their children. Indeed, it is very often the case that teenagers who come from hardworking families spend their time on schoolwork and conduct themselves well. In fact, the teenagers who do create social problems by, for example, getting drunk or painting graffitti come from homes where parents are unemployed. Other factors that lead to teenagers getting into trouble relate to the educational system. This is due to the fact that many teenagers leave school aged 16 and do not find work because of lack of qualifications. As a result, they spend time on the street with nothing productive to do. Likewise, social problems with teenagers can be the consequence of poor discipline at school with teachers failing to control their classes. In conclusion, it is possible to say that this sort of problem is only sometimes the result of parents not supervising their children. It is equally possible to say that discipline in schools is at fault.
There is no question that standards of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
have fallen among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. The popular belief is that the
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unable to supervise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are away at work. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint as there are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors too.

It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
responsibility for the actions of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is
particularly
true when they are absent from the home and not in a position to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The argument is that if they were at home, then they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
certain that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
gangs and spent their time on
socially
acceptable activities.

However
, it can
also
be said
that working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are in fact setting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Indeed
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from hardworking families spend their time on schoolwork and conduct themselves well. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who do create social problems by,
for example
, getting drunk or painting
Possible spelling mistake found.
graffitti
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from homes where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unemployed
.

Other factors that lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
getting into trouble relate to the educational system.
This is due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school aged 16 and do not find work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of qualifications.
As a result
, they spend time on the street with nothing productive to do.
Likewise
, social problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be the consequence of poor discipline at school with teachers failing to control their classes.

In conclusion
, it is possible to say that this sort of problem is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
not supervising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
equally
possible to say that discipline in schools is at fault.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children T v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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