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In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse. What causes this problem? What measure can be taken to solve it? v.1

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse. What causes this problem? What measure can be taken to solve it? v. 1
Compromised Life standard in metropolitans is often at the top of the agenda throughout the world as the leading problem in the 21st century. This essay will explore how excessive garbage and environmental pollution are the major contributing factors are affecting the quality of life, and how through an awareness campaign and proper town planning by the governmental elite, this issue can be curtailed. There are myriad factors that are considered responsible for igniting problems in large cities. Firstly, people in densely populated areas produce excessive garbage, which serves as a medium for the growth of disease-causing bacteria because of a lack of proper waste management. These bacteria mix with fresh drinking water and cause fatal diseases in children and adults. Take an example of India, where multiple tons of garbage are produced each day that is improperly disposed of, results in the outburst of endemic diseases. Thus, the production of a large quantity of waste is the fueling force behind poor city life. Secondly, industrialization is considered a breeding ground for a decrease in quality of life. As smoke and poisonous gases emitted from industries mix with the air is the sole major reason behind air pollution. Industrial smoke causes lung diseases such as asthma, and lung cancer. For example, the air samples taken from large cities have been found to have higher proportions of poisonous gases. Hence, industrial development does fuel this issue. However, there are certain pragmatic measures that can be taken to raise the quality of life in big cities. The awareness cultivation programs for waste management in schools and offices would certainly prove effective in combating hazardous conditions in urban centers. Furthermore, viable management of town by giving basic facilities to stop migration from rural to urban areas would also be a better alternative. Through shifting industries to suburbs, the quality of life in cities can be upgraded. To sum up, even though mismanagement of waste and industrialization are the widespread cause, but through education and proper town and city planning, this problem can be curbed.
Compromised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
standard in metropolitans is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
at the top of the agenda throughout the world as the leading problem in the 21st century. This essay will explore how excessive garbage and environmental pollution are the major contributing factors are affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and how through an awareness campaign and proper town planning by the governmental elite, this issue can
be curtailed
.

There are myriad factors that
are considered
responsible for igniting problems in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
densely
populated areas produce excessive garbage, which serves as a medium for the growth of disease-causing bacteria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
management. These bacteria mix with fresh drinking water and cause fatal diseases in children and adults. Take an example of India, where multiple tons of garbage
are produced
each day
that is
improperly
disposed of, results in the outburst of endemic diseases.
Thus
, the production of a large quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is the fueling force behind poor city life.

Secondly
, industrialization
is considered
a breeding ground for a decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As smoke and poisonous gases emitted from industries mix with the air is the sole major reason behind air pollution. Industrial smoke causes lung diseases such as asthma, and lung cancer.
For example
, the air samples taken from large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
been found
to have higher proportions of poisonous gases.
Hence
, industrial development does fuel this issue.

However
, there are certain pragmatic measures that can
be taken
to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The awareness cultivation programs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
management in schools and offices would
certainly
prove effective in combating hazardous conditions in urban centers.
Furthermore
, viable management of town by giving basic facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
migration from rural to urban areas would
also
be a better alternative. Through shifting industries to suburbs, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
be upgraded
.

To sum up,
even though
mismanagement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
and industrialization are the widespread cause,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through education and proper town and city planning, this problem can
be curbed
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse. What causes this problem? What measure can be taken to solve it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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