Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, the amount of crimes increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.1

In many countries, the amount of crimes increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 1
With the globalization, people are prone to travel overseas more frequently than past, and sometimes, plan their family vacations along with their business trips. However, not all people convert their business trip into a family trip. This essay intends to discuss the pros and cons of this trend. A solo business trip can help people to be more attentive to their original purpose of the visit. For instance, some research states that people are more productive on business trips without families because they are not interrupted by their families. Moreover, business trips without families reduce the cost of extra arrangements for family members such as flight tickets, hotels, and meals. Vacations overseas are usually more costly that sometimes it takes savings of so many years and not occupying families can help use that money towards some important decisions such as children’s education and medical emergencies. Business trips with families can make the families' relations stronger, and also reduces the cost of the vacation. For example, the company usually pays for flights, accommodations and meals for the business person, hence, the person spends money for his family's travel and extra accommodations if needed. In addition, family members can have a chance to explore the whole other country and its culture which will broaden their horizons. Apart from business trips with family, family members might not have another chance to experience different countries, and children might be devoid of their geographical skills and cultures. To conclude, taking families overseas along with business trips has both advantages and disadvantages. However, people can eliminate this problem by adding some extra days after the business trips so that they can be more focused on the businesses and can enjoy their vacations afterward.
With the globalization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are prone to travel overseas more
frequently
than past, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, plan their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
.
However
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
convert their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. This essay intends to discuss the pros and cons of this trend.

A solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more attentive to their original purpose of the visit.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more productive on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not interrupted by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of extra arrangements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members such as flight tickets, hotels, and meals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Vacations
overseas are
usually
more costly that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it takes savings of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and not occupying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions such as children’s education and medical emergencies.

Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the families' relations stronger, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacation
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
usually
pays for flights, accommodations and meals for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
person,
hence
, the person spends money for his family's travel and extra accommodations if needed.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can have a chance to explore the whole other country and its culture which will broaden their horizons. Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members might not have another chance to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, and children might be devoid of their geographical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and cultures.

To conclude
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
overseas along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can eliminate this problem by adding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra days after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be more focused on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vacations
afterward.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crimes increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts