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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 5

Nowadays, the multiple kinds of crime rate were rising compared to the last two decades ago in almost all countries. The essay will examine the main causes of increasing misconduct and possible solutions of this problem. The two main causes of offenses against the law are lack of employment opportunities and the usage of drugs. The unemployment is a big issue not only at least developing countries, but also in developing and developed countries. As the increase of jobless population, people often commit the common lawlessness cases for their survival, such as robbery, pickpocketing and stealing. Next, the consumption of drugs, especially among the teenagers and adults, becomes very problematic in most countries. The surge of global drug dealings leads the huge amount of narcotic addicted people. According the recent news and reports, the level of crime related to drugs shows an upward trend significantly in all regions of the world. Some possible solutions to this problem are creating the job opportunities and tight control of drugs. The government should perform as a major role in order to remove those causes, for instance, enhancing the economy of the country by means of promoting small and medium enterprises and inviting the foreign investments so that there will be a variety of positions for professionals and non-professionals. For the regarding the drugs, it fully relies on the law. In addition, the strong sentence such as capital punishment should apply to those people who tried and traded drugs. Besides, the drug rehabilitation center should establish for those drugs addicted people rather than sending them to prison. The public awareness of narcotic should be distributed through the media as well as social media. This way, people will be conscious of the danger of drugs. To conclude, the lack of job vacancies and the consuming of narcotic take people into a criminal case. However, the effective solutions can be done by removing root causes.

IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.5

Nowadays, the multiple kinds of crime rate were rising compared to the last two decades ago in almost all
countries
. The essay will examine the main
causes
of increasing misconduct and possible solutions of this problem. The two main
causes
of offenses against the law are lack of employment opportunities and the usage of
drugs
.
The
unemployment is a
big
issue not
only
at least developing
countries
,
but
also
in developing and developed
countries
. As the increase of jobless population,
people
often
commit the common lawlessness cases for their survival, such as robbery,
pickpocketing
and stealing.
Next
, the consumption of
drugs
,
especially
among the
teenagers
and adults, becomes
very
problematic in most
countries
. The surge of global
drug
dealings leads the huge amount of narcotic addicted
people
.
According the
recent news and reports, the level of crime related to
drugs
shows
an upward trend
significantly
in all regions of the world.
Some
possible solutions to this problem are creating the job opportunities and tight control of
drugs
. The
government
should perform as a major role in order to remove those
causes
,
for instance
, enhancing the economy of the
country
by means of promoting
small
and medium enterprises and inviting the foreign investments
so
that there will be a variety of positions for professionals and non-professionals. For the regarding the
drugs
, it
fully
relies on the law.
In addition
, the strong sentence such as capital punishment should apply to those
people
who tried and traded
drugs
.
Besides
, the
drug
rehabilitation center should establish for those
drugs
addicted
people
rather
than sending them to prison. The public awareness of narcotic should
be distributed
through the media
as well
as social media. This way,
people
will be conscious of the
danger
of drugs.
To conclude
, the lack of job vacancies and the consuming of narcotic take
people
into a criminal case.
However
, the effective solutions can
be done
by removing root
causes
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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