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In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 7

IN MOST NATIONS, THE RATE OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES IS SAID TO BE ON THE UPSURGE DUE TO A NUMBER OF REASONS WHICH INCLUDES LOW MINIMUM RATE, INSUFFICIENT CORRECTION CENTRES, INFRASTRUCTURE AND LACK OF JOB OPPORTUNITIES. NOWADAYS, A GREAT AMOUNT OF OFFENDERS COULD NOT FIT INTO THE REGULAR PRISON SYSTEM DUE TO LACK OF STRUCTURE AND MANPOWER TO RE-ORIENTATE THEM. HOWEVER, THE GOVERNMENT HAD TO IMPLEMENT LAWS THAT ENABLE MOST OF TYRANTS WALK FREE. ADMITTEDLY, UNLAWFUL ACTS IS SKYROCKETTING IN RECENT TIMES AND ITS SEEN TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH POOR SALARIES AMONG WORKERS, WHICH IS USUALLY NOT ENOUGH FOR BASIC UPKEEP BECAUSE, IN DEVELOPED COUNTRIES, UTILITY AND OTHER BILLS SEEMS TO BE ON THE HIGH SIDE. CONSEQUENTLY, MAKING MOST PEOPLE RESORT TO SHADY DEALINGS. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS THAT SOME WORKERS NEED TO BE LAYED OFF TO MAKE ROOM FOR OTHERS, THIS INSTIGATES RESENTMENTS. THEREBY, LEADING TO CRIME. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE GOVERNMENT COULD COME IN AND MAKE CHANGES BY ERECTING MORE BUILDINGS FOR THE PURPOSE OF HOUSING AS MANY FELONS AS POSSIBLE, MAKING SURE THEY ALL GET WHAT THEY DESERVE BY KEEPING THEM OFF THE STREETS AS LONG AS NECCESARY. ADDITIONALLY, ENABLE INCREMENT IN LABOUR WAGES WHICH IS KNOWN TO MOTIVATE EMPLOYEES TO WORK BETTER. THEREBY, GIVING THEM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARDS TO. FOR EXAMPLE, ON WALL STREET IN 1890, PEOPLE SEEN TO BE GENERATING 30% WORK OUTPUT WITHOUT ANNUALLY PAID LEAVE, MATERNAL AND PATERNAL, ADOPTION AND SICK LEAVE WERE OBSERVED TO GIVE ALMOST A 100% AFTER THESE AFFOREMENTIONED WERE IMPLEMENTED. IN CONCLUSION, IN AS MUCH AS THERE IS A RISE IN FELONIES, IT CAN BE CUBBED BY LOCKING UP OFFENDERS, BETTER BASIC WAGES AND PROVIDING JOBS WITH REALISTIC EMPLOYEE BENEFIT.

IELTS essay In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.7

IN MOST NATIONS, THE RATE OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES
IS SAID
TO BE ON THE UPSURGE DUE TO A NUMBER OF REASONS WHICH INCLUDES LOW MINIMUM RATE, INSUFFICIENT CORRECTION
CENTRES
, INFRASTRUCTURE AND LACK OF JOB OPPORTUNITIES. NOWADAYS, A GREAT AMOUNT OF OFFENDERS COULD NOT FIT INTO THE REGULAR PRISON SYSTEM DUE TO LACK OF STRUCTURE AND MANPOWER TO RE-ORIENTATE THEM.
HOWEVER
, THE
GOVERNMENT
HAD TO IMPLEMENT LAWS THAT ENABLE
MOST OF TYRANTS
WALK FREE.
ADMITTEDLY
, UNLAWFUL ACTS IS
SKYROCKETTING
IN RECENT TIMES AND ITS
SEEN
TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH POOR SALARIES AMONG WORKERS, WHICH IS
USUALLY
NOT
ENOUGH
FOR BASIC UPKEEP
BECAUSE
, IN
DEVELOPED COUNTRIES
, UTILITY AND OTHER BILLS SEEMS TO BE ON THE HIGH SIDE.
CONSEQUENTLY
, MAKING MOST
PEOPLE
RESORT TO SHADY DEALINGS. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS THAT
SOME
WORKERS NEED TO BE
LAYED
OFF TO
MAKE
ROOM FOR OTHERS, THIS INSTIGATES RESENTMENTS. THEREBY, LEADING TO CRIME.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, THE
GOVERNMENT
COULD
COME
IN AND
MAKE
CHANGES
BY ERECTING MORE BUILDINGS FOR THE PURPOSE OF HOUSING AS
MANY
FELONS AS POSSIBLE, MAKING SURE THEY ALL
GET
WHAT THEY DESERVE BY KEEPING THEM OFF THE STREETS AS LONG AS
NECCESARY
.
ADDITIONALLY
, ENABLE INCREMENT IN
LABOUR
WAGES WHICH
IS KNOWN
TO MOTIVATE EMPLOYEES TO WORK BETTER. THEREBY, GIVING THEM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARDS TO.
FOR EXAMPLE
, ON WALL STREET IN 1890,
PEOPLE
SEEN
TO BE GENERATING 30% WORK OUTPUT WITHOUT
ANNUALLY
PAID
LEAVE
, MATERNAL AND PATERNAL, ADOPTION AND SICK
LEAVE
WERE OBSERVED
TO GIVE ALMOST A 100% AFTER THESE
AFFOREMENTIONED
WERE IMPLEMENTED
.
IN CONCLUSION
, IN AS MUCH AS THERE IS A RISE IN FELONIES, IT CAN BE
CUBBED
BY LOCKING UP OFFENDERS, BETTER BASIC WAGES AND PROVIDING JOBS WITH REALISTIC EMPLOYEE BENEFIT.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Essay
9 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resources: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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