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In many countries, the amount if crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.1

In many countries, the amount if crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 1
Nowadays, in various countries, there is an exorbitant rise in the anti-social activities. There are many reasons for this rapid increase and have solutions to the cause. The following essay state the predominant cause and the solutions for the reason. The main reason for the crime is the need for money. Recently, it has been observed that the teenagers do not have jobs after the completion of their studies. As a result of this, they are not able to support their family. For getting the money, they join the anti-social gang. Moreover, they start to do the small crimes without anyone's help. For example, in a survey conducted by the Kerala authority among the teenagers, reveals that 50% of them has already started communicating with the criminals and have started receiving the advance payments. There are many steps we can take to avoid the circumstances for the issue. Firstly, it is better to start the awareness class against the bad activities in the college. This result the students understand the negative impact of the bad actions in the society. Secondly, the government should make sure that they have adequate job opportunities for the individuals. Additionally, the authorities should start giving some funds to start a business for the youngsters. For instance, in Kerala, the region head has started providing the loans without interest to the youth to get into the business. This had a great positive impact on the region and it resulted in the decreasing in the number of thefts. In conclusion, the unemployment and the lack of money to live are the main factors that accelerate the crime. It is the authority's responsibility to provide a helping hand to the teenagers to get a job and prevent the youth to enter into the criminal gangs.
Nowadays, in various countries, there is an exorbitant rise in the anti-social activities. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this rapid increase and have solutions to the cause. The following essay state the predominant cause and the solutions for the reason.

The main reason for the crime is the need for money. Recently, it has
been observed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not have jobs after the completion of their studies.
As a result
of this, they are not able to support their family. For getting the money, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the anti-social gang.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to do the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
crimes without anyone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For example
, in a survey conducted by the Kerala authority among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, reveals that 50% of them has already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
communicating with the criminals and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
receiving the advance payments.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps we can take to avoid the circumstances for the issue.
Firstly
, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
the awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activities in the college. This result the students understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
actions in the society.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they have adequate job opportunities for the individuals.
Additionally
, the authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
a business for the youngsters.
For instance
, in Kerala, the region head has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
providing the loans without interest to the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the business. This had a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the region and it resulted in the decreasing in the number of thefts.

In conclusion
, the unemployment and the lack of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
are the main factors that accelerate the crime. It is the authority's responsibility to provide a helping hand to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the youth to enter into the criminal gangs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the amount if crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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