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In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with the academic subjects. v.1

In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with the academic subjects. v. 1
Sport is an important constituent of education at school and universities. However, there is a dramatic shift in this trend in some developing countries over the last few years. The authorities concerned claim that lengthy syllabus, competitive learning and studies pressure are the main hindrances that mitigate student interest to pursue in this field. I think this is not a good practice to exercise; children should provide opportunities to participate in physical activities that would help them in relaxing and developing skills such as leadership, teamwork and handling pressure. Sports play a pivotal role in health and could significantly contribute towards achieving others skills that are also important for a successful person. For instance, lack of these activities will make people lethargic and they will become more susceptible to diseases such as obesity and laziness. Furthermore, it is also seen that students without these activities are more hyper and violent in their attitudes, this will lead to severe problems in the society. Nowadays, students have to perform exceptionally well in order to compete in their peer group. That increased panic, tension and un-relaxing conditions. Therefore, exercise is a one way that can reduce their studies woes and help them to relax and reenergize for their future studies. In addition to this, students who are good in sports activities can adopt it as their future career. To sum up, I would like to say that eliminating sports activities from school curriculum would have dire consequences on students and society. We would less likely to produce players for our nation teams. Apart from that students' mental health negatively affect with the absence of sports.
Sport
is an
important
constituent of education at school and universities.
However
, there is a dramatic shift in this trend in
some
developing countries
over the last few years. The authorities concerned claim that lengthy syllabus, competitive learning and studies pressure are the main hindrances that mitigate
student
interest to pursue in this field. I
think
this is not a
good
practice to exercise; children should provide opportunities to participate in physical
activities
that would
help
them in relaxing and developing
skills
such as leadership, teamwork and handling pressure.

Sports play a pivotal role in health and could
significantly
contribute towards achieving others
skills
that are
also
important
for a successful person.
For instance
, lack of these
activities
will
make
people
lethargic and
they will become more susceptible to diseases such as obesity and laziness.
Furthermore
, it is
also
seen
that
students
without these
activities
are more hyper and violent in their attitudes, this will lead to severe problems in the society.

Nowadays,
students
have to
perform
exceptionally
well in order to compete in their peer group. That increased panic, tension and
un-relaxing
conditions.
Therefore
, exercise is a one way that can
reduce
their studies woes and
help
them to relax and
reenergize
for their future studies.
In addition
to this,
students
who are
good
in
sports
activities
can adopt it as their future career.

To sum up, I would like to say that eliminating
sports
activities
from school curriculum would have dire consequences on
students
and society. We would less likely to produce players for our nation teams. Apart from that students' mental health
negatively
affect
with the absence of
sports
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, sports and exercises classes are replaced with the academic subjects. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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