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In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. v. 7
Smoking is banned in parks, restaurants, public-transports, colleges and schools in many nations. This essay agrees with this statement because it will prevent passive smokers from having different diseases and also encourages smokers to quit. The primary reason for not allowing smokers in public places is that this will prevent people from having to breath second hand smoke. Non-smokers develop different type of heart related diseases such as lung cancer, strokes and asthma, and something that non-smokers cannot avoid when they are near to a smoker. The British Health Council recently found that the non-smokers develop heart related diseases 4 times more than the smokers. The second main reason is to ban smoking is to reduce the number of smokers by motivating them to quit the habit of smoking. Smokers and non- smokers when socialize, often smokers ostracized from the social group because always they should go out of the gathering to light up. This will encourage them to avoid smoking and feel more a part of the group. This happened in Ireland, the first nation in the world to ban smoking nationwide. So it reduced the number of smokers. In conclusion, keeping smoking against the law will help innocent passive smokers from getting different diseases. Also it will reduce the smokers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is banned
in parks, restaurants, public-transports, colleges and schools in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
passive smokers from having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and
also
encourages smokers to quit.

The primary reason for not allowing smokers in public places is that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from having to breath second hand smoke. Non-smokers develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of heart related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as lung cancer, strokes and asthma, and something that non-smokers cannot avoid when they are near to a smoker. The British Health Council recently found that the non-smokers develop heart related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
4 times more than the smokers.

The second main reason is to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of smokers by motivating them to quit the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Smokers and non- smokers when
The conjunction "when" requires the past participle "socialized", or did you mean "you socialize"?
socialize
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
smokers ostracized from the social group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
always they should go out of the gathering to light up. This will encourage them to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and feel more a part of the group. This happened in Ireland, the
first
nation in the world to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
nationwide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the number of smokers.

In conclusion
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
against the law will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
innocent passive smokers from getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the smokers.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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