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Task 2 Online shopping has become popular recently This will result in the end of high street shops To what extant do you agree or disagree v.2

Task 2 Online shopping has become popular recently This will result in the end of high street shops To what extant v. 2
Nowadays technologies are developing day by day as well as step by step. Especially the Internet plays an important role in our life. With the help of the Internet people can take any information which are they want to know. Such as watching films or TV shows anytime, searching recipes of meals, and the most common thing is that online shopping. This is because all of people can buy things online on the Internet. But as everything has pros and cons it has also some bad sides. Now, I try to explain one of them in my essay. On one hand, online shopping is very useful. Since we can purchase anything as well as anytime. It offers us many facilities. For example whenever we need to go to somewhere, such as birthday part and we are hurry, at that time we must to buy a present. I consider that online shopping is the best way to find a way out. Because online shopping is more faster than others. And usually we can buy unique things which are not in the simple shops. Like mentioned qualities of buying online shopping are good sides of it. On the other hand, if people get accustomed buying online, they never want to go to the high street shops. The reason behind this is that they count it requires extra actions. As wearing, going there by transport or on foot and others. But it is incorrect opinion. Usually people go to shopping malls they need to act and it is useful for their health. That is one side of the argument. The secondly, people will prefer online shopping more and more. After that street markets will need to close and some of their workers will become unemployed. Such kind of situations may damage the economy of the people. In conclusion I can say that people should utilize online shopping in the period of necessity. Since they should go to street markets in order to stay healthy with the help of acting during to buy things by ownselves. (342words)
Nowadays technologies are developing day by day
as well
as step by step.
Especially
the Internet plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take any information which are they want to know. Such as watching films or TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
anytime, searching recipes of meals, and the most common thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
on the Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as everything has pros and cons it has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
one of them in my essay.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful. Since we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything
as well
as anytime. It offers us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities.
For example
whenever we need to
There isn't usually a preposition before "somewhere". Did you mean "go somewhere"?
go to somewhere
, such as birthday
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
part and
we are hurry, at that time we
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a present. I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the best way to find a way out.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
than others. And
usually
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unique things which are not in the simple shops. Like mentioned qualities of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides of it.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, they never want to go to the high street shops. The reason behind this is that they count it requires extra actions. As wearing, going there by transport or on foot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is incorrect opinion.
Usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls they need to act and it is useful for their health.
That is
one side of the argument. The
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
more and more. After that street markets will need to close and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their workers will become unemployed. Such kind of situations may damage the economy of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in the period of necessity.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
they should go to street markets in order to stay healthy with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of acting during to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things by
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownselves
.

(342words)
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 2 Online shopping has become popular recently This will result in the end of high street shops To what extant v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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