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Some people think that education is the only way to overcome challenges we face today Do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Some people think that education is the only way to overcome challenges we face today v. 2
In the fast developing world the value of education is increasing day by day that even people have already started to consider it as the only way to tackle with problems of life. The importance of health which is more crucial than education began to be underestimated. I entirely object that education is the only way to solve challenges and this will be illustrated by analyzing the role of both education and health in human' s life. To begin with, education has always been considered to be the bridge for young people to real life. And it is not denying that an educated person solves each problem carefully and independently. Therefore, a person who is knowledgeable enough can contribute to the development of his own motherland like building fascinating study centres, schools or even publishing books which are pivotal for people. On the other hand, there are some other important factors that need to be considered which are more valuable than education. One of them can be health as it is also a cue to success. These days people with the idea of becoming educated they do not focus on their health. However, we ought to keep in mind that a person becoming a burden to his family and friends cannot earn an income while a healthy person who tries to be educated can bring a lot benefits not only to his family but also to his own motherland. By way of conclusion, I should recopulate one thing is that I entirely disagree with people who reckon education as the only tool to deal with the problems we encounter in our daily life.
In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
developing world the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is increasing day by day that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to consider it as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way to tackle with problems of life. The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
which is more crucial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
began to
be underestimated
. I
entirely
object that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way to solve challenges and this will
be illustrated
by analyzing the role of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has always
been considered
to be the bridge for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to real life. And it
The verb 'denying' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is not denying
that an educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
solves each problem
carefully
and
independently
.
Therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is knowledgeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
can contribute to the development of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motherland like building fascinating study
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, schools or even publishing books which are pivotal for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that need to
be considered
which are more valuable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. One of them can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as it is
also
a cue to success. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of becoming educated they do not focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
, we ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
becoming a burden to his family and friends cannot earn an income while a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who tries to
be educated
can bring
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of benefits"?
a lot benefits
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to his family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motherland.

By way of conclusion, I should
Possible spelling mistake found.
recopulate
one thing is that I
entirely
disagree with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who reckon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
tool to deal with the problems we encounter in our daily life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people think that education is the only way to overcome challenges we face today v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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