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In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. v. 1
Smoking in public areas is banned in many areas over the globe. This essay totally upholds the prohibition of smoking in common areas, and that is in order to protect the society’s health, and to avoid setting inappropriate role models for the new generations. Firstly, this essay will shed the light on how relevant laws could enhance the public health and secondly, we will discuss how that could dissuade youngsters from being a future smokers. To begin with, enacting legislations to prevent smoking in places such as parks, zoos or children playgrounds is an important factor for maintaining a healthy society, this is because the secondhand smoke negatively impacts the people around, and the consequences vary from triggering asthma fits to causing lung cancer. For example, the World Health Organisation (WHO) recorded in the last decade serveral new asthma cases caused mainly by the repetitive exposure to secondhand smoking. Another important factor is that enforcing restrictions on public smoking effectively participates in decimating the levels of teenage smoking, because adolescents will not regard the smoking as a normal process prevailing in the society. This is to say that when teenagers sees smoking is common almost everywhere that could increase the likelihood of them picking up such bad habits, especially when they find a great percentage of the available role models engaging in such activities. As a vivid example, a research paper that was published in 2016 by The Guardian, showed that enforcing legislations that banned smoking in multiple public areas in England actually reduced the percentage of young smokers by 16%. To conclude, this essay supports the criminalizing of public smoking because it enhances the overall society health, in addition to lowering the figures of smokers under the age of 18. It is recommended that litigators around the word put forward similar laws, and governments should not only support, but enforce them as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is banned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
over the globe. This essay
totally
upholds the prohibition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and
that is
in order to protect the society’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and to avoid setting inappropriate role models for the new generations.
Firstly
, this essay will shed the light on how relevant laws could enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
secondly
, we will discuss how that could dissuade youngsters from being a future
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "smoker"?
smokers
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, enacting
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in places such as parks, zoos or children playgrounds is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for maintaining a healthy society,

this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the secondhand smoke
negatively
impacts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around, and the consequences vary from triggering asthma fits to causing lung cancer.
For example
, the World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
(WHO) recorded in the last decade
Possible spelling mistake found.
serveral
new asthma cases caused
mainly
by the repetitive exposure to secondhand smoking.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is that enforcing restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
effectively
participates in decimating the levels of teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
adolescents will not regard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as a normal process prevailing in the society. This is to say that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "see".
sees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is common almost everywhere that could increase the likelihood of them picking up such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits,
especially
when they find a great percentage of the available role models engaging in such activities. As a vivid example, a research paper that
was published
in 2016 by The Guardian,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that enforcing
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
that banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in England actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the percentage of young smokers by 16%.

To conclude
, this essay supports the criminalizing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enhances the
overall
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
in addition
to lowering the figures of smokers under the age of 18. It
is recommended
that litigators around the word put forward similar laws, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
support,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
enforce them
as well
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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