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In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. v. 4
To begin, senior position people get paid more than lower. In my point of view, I agree with the statement that people with more experience get a higher salary. This is due to their experiences in the field and the performance of their work. According to the Government rules, the company follows a few rules to provide the salary to the working people. Also, the big companies have a few more rules to pay their employees. All the rules mostly based on their work experience and the skills which they have possessed. Most of the companies will follow the same pattern. There will be few exceptions based on their skills, the young person gets more salary than the experience. Consider the above statements, the senior positions get a higher salary because of their experience in the work as well as the leadership experience like managing the people efficiently. Also, the senior people in the company faced many hard situations and they know how to resolve without affecting the companies and their employees, but the young people may not face the situation as their career is just started or very less experience. The young worker will have more energy to accomplish the tasks, however, they might not have the patience to decide which one is the correct solution. To conclude, I agree that the senior position will get higher salaries than the young workers in the same company are perfectly correct, however the young worker has more knowledge and updated skills, he deserved to be paid more salary.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
position
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid more than lower. In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. This is due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in the field and the performance of their work.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
follows a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a few more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to pay their employees. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
mostly
based on their work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which they have possessed. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will follow the same pattern. There will be few exceptions based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, the
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young
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
than the experience.

Consider the above statements, the
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senior
positions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
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experience
in the work
as well
as the leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
like managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
efficiently
.
Also
, the
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senior
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people
in the
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company
faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situations and
they know how to resolve without affecting the
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companies
and their employees,
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but
the
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young
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people
may not face the situation as their career is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
worker will have more energy to accomplish the tasks,
however
, they might not have the patience to decide which one is the correct solution.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
position will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
workers in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are
perfectly
correct,
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
worker has more knowledge and updated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, he deserved to
be paid
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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