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Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.17

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. with this statement? v. 17
The Computers are relatively a new device due to a little ambiguous, therefore many people still debate the importance of developing. Thus, I think the invention of computers was essential in the last century. In spite of the society cannot decline the fact that in the last century the world had many other inventions such as discovering new vaccine or a car that is friendlier to the environment. Therefore, some people think about such side as more important because of a tendency modifying the sickness and grow the level of pollution these contraptions seem more effective and provide more benefits. Moreover, computers all the time are modifying because had many problems with details or the software while other discoveries had an immediate effect on people's life. For example the vaccine for the flu or the Ebola. However, presently many electronic devices was being elaborated on a platform of computers, therefore people have breakthroughs in plenty areas such as the medicine or the scientists. For example, many medical equipment connects to computers with interpreting of results there. Moreover, invention the computers after allowed to create many other devices that more mobile and functional such as the smartphones or the laptops. Furthermore, people around the world via computers are working every day. For example, a lot of software make life of workers easier such as for bookkeeping or even the Microsoft office. To sum up, I think we cannot decline other invention as a fact that without computers many of them would not have been possible. Therefore, in my opinion, computer devices were the best contraption in the last century.
The Computers are
relatively
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
due to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ambiguous,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
debate the importance of developing.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the invention of computers was essential in the last century.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the society cannot decline the fact that in the last century the world had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
inventions such as discovering new vaccine or a car
that is
friendlier to the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about such side as more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a tendency modifying the sickness and grow the level of pollution these contraptions seem more effective and provide more benefits.
Moreover
, computers all the time are modifying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
or the software while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
discoveries had an immediate effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
For example
the vaccine for the flu or the Ebola.

However
,
presently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
was
being elaborated
on a platform of computers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have breakthroughs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
areas such as the medicine or the scientists.
For example
,
Possible agreement error. The noun equipment seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much medical equipment", "a good deal of medical equipment".
many medical equipment
connects to computers with interpreting of results there.
Moreover
, invention the computers after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
that more mobile and functional such as the smartphones or the laptops.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world via computers are working every day.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life of workers easier such as for bookkeeping or even the
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Office" (= Microsoft product)?
Microsoft office
.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we cannot decline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
invention as a fact that without computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them would not have been possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, in my opinion, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
were the best contraption in the last century.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. with this statement? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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