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In many countries people are having health problems because they choose to live a unhealthy life. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.3

In many countries people are having health problems because they choose to live a unhealthy life. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3
It has been observed of late the fitness levels of people are deteriorating and several people across the globe are dealing with various health issues due to selecting to leading an unhealthy life. The trend of choosing to live in an unhealthy way which is mainly due to laziness and even reckless eating habits whenever hungry. However, there is a range of measures that could be implemented to resolve this issue. One of the prime reasons of a person choosing to live an unfit life is because of high levels of languor. Under the pretext of time constraints, hectic work life schedule, many people may abstain from exercising. In contrast, we can see far busier people like Actors and Doctors of late, who have taxing jobs and erratic work timings, but still they squeeze enough time to complete their fitness rituals on a daily basis, hence you will find them beaming with enthusiasm. The second reason is brought about by choosing of convenience food, whenever hungry, people generally reach out for junk food like chips, fries, pizzas, burger etc. which are full of calories as well as low on nutrition. Although the market is full of healthier options like fruits, Nuts, protein bars, roasted snacks. Still there are people who may end up over-indulging in such foods and in the hindsight they start feeling lethargic and deal with multiple health issues. Hence, the people themselves can be held responsible for prioritizing indolence and cravings rather than, their health. There are several ways to deal with such health affecting issues due to pickiness of individuals. First and foremost, the people could start on a lower level to make themselves more active for example, even working people can resort to climbing up the stair cases rather than using the elevators. Furthermore, they can even start using stand up computer desks which will make them stand for longer hours and in between they can even take a brief walk to cut off their levels of exhaustion. So in this particular way they could start their fitness journey. Secondly, for people who cannot starve for longer periods can start eating every two hours in small portions to never end up so hungry to relish an entire pizza. For illustration, it has been scientifically proven that people who eat every two hours, are never so hungry to gorge on unhealthy food. Which is why they can afford to keep a watch over what they eat. In short, there are two reason namely human lethargy and even careless eating habits contributing to ill-health. Nonetheless, they can be tackled with getting more active and even through regular meals.
It has
been observed
of late the fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are deteriorating and several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe are dealing with various health issues due to selecting to leading an unhealthy life. The trend of choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Consider replacing "in an unhealthy way" with the adverb for "unhealthy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unhealthy way
which is
mainly
due to laziness and even reckless eating habits whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hungry
.
However
, there is a range of measures that could
be implemented
to resolve this issue.

One of the prime reasons of a person choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an unfit life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of languor. Under the pretext of time constraints, hectic work life schedule,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may abstain from exercising.
In contrast
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
far busier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like Actors and Doctors of late,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have taxing jobs and erratic work timings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they squeeze
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to complete their fitness rituals on a daily basis,
hence
you will find them beaming with enthusiasm. The second reason
is brought
about by choosing of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hungry
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
reach out for junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like chips, fries, pizzas, burger etc. which are full of calories
as well
as low on nutrition. Although the market is full of healthier options like fruits, Nuts, protein bars, roasted snacks.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up over-indulging in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and in the hindsight they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
feeling lethargic and deal with multiple health issues.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves can
be held
responsible for prioritizing indolence and cravings
rather
than, their health.

There are several ways to deal with such health affecting issues due to pickiness of individuals.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
on a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves more active
for example
, even working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can resort to climbing up the stair cases
rather
than using the elevators.
Furthermore
, they can even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
using stand up computer desks which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stand for longer hours and in between they can even take a brief walk to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of exhaustion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in this particular way they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their fitness journey.
Secondly
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot starve for longer periods can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
eating every two hours in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portions to never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hungry
to relish an entire pizza. For illustration, it has been
scientifically
proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
eat every two hours, are never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hungry
to gorge on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Which is why they can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
over what they eat.

In short, there are two reason
namely
human lethargy and even careless eating habits contributing to ill-health. Nonetheless, they can
be tackled
with getting more active and even through regular meals.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries people are having health problems because they choose to live a unhealthy life. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
441 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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