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In many countries no longer feel the need to get married, some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree? v.1

In many countries no longer feel the need to get married, some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 1
Moving towards the 21st century, a large number of people are nowadays expressing a deeply growing concern about Social media. In fact, it is widely believed that Social media applications are becoming increasingly common and can be detrimental to children who frequently use them. As far as I am concerned, there has been a highly problematic issue, and this raises the question in relation to solutions to cope with. Therefore, some major points will be addressed in the following paragraphs. In order to deal with the above issue, there are a number of solutions that could be taken into consideration restricting access to the internet at home and at school can secure the safety of the children. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that many security software offers parenting features. A clear example being found to prove is that These features allow children's folks to put limitations to enter certain websites such as Facebook, Instagram, and others. Equally important, there is no doubt that parents can periodically monitor chats and messages of their teens to ensure that they are not receiving any threats or illicit images from the people they socialize with. For example, a recent report by BBC has revealed that parents who supervise their children’s online activities are twice likely to discover any usual activity and take necessary action than those who do not do this. On the other hand, parents should seek to increase activities to involve youth to be pro-active outside their homes. First of all, Parents should create playing areas such as parks that suit youngsters ages. For example, building cycling tracks which encourage young people to spend their time learning to cycle and meet others. In addition to this, their social skills will increase and they will be away from the internet and its potential risks. All things considered, it is my strong belief that there are two ways to reduce the potential hazards when young people use the internet daily to interact with various people online without any guidance. Accordingly, I highly recommend that the governments should enhance people’s awareness in terms of this issue. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive development of our future generations will be ensured
Moving towards the 21st century,
a large number of
people
are nowadays expressing a
deeply
growing concern about Social media. In fact, it is
widely
believed that Social media applications are becoming
increasingly
common and can be detrimental to children who
frequently
use
them. As far as I
am concerned
, there has been a
highly
problematic issue, and this raises the question in relation to solutions to cope with.
Therefore
,
some
major points will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.

In order to deal with the above issue, there are a number of solutions that could
be taken
into consideration restricting access to the internet at home and at school can secure the safety of the children.
First
and foremost, it is
commonly
accepted
that
many
security software offers parenting features. A
clear
example
being found
to prove is that These features
allow
children's folks to put limitations to enter certain websites such as Facebook, Instagram,
and others
.
Equally
important
, there is no doubt that
parents
can
periodically
monitor chats and messages of their teens to ensure that they are not receiving any threats or illicit images from the
people
they socialize with.
For example
, a recent report by BBC has revealed that
parents
who supervise their children’s online activities are twice likely to discover any usual activity and take necessary action than those who do not do this.

On the other hand
,
parents
should seek to increase activities to involve youth to be pro-active outside their homes.
First of all
,
Parents
should create playing areas such as parks that suit youngsters ages.
For example
, building cycling
tracks
which encourage young
people
to spend their time learning to cycle and
meet
others.
In addition
to this, their social
skills
will
increase and
they will be away from the internet and its potential
risks
.

All things considered, it is my strong belief that there are two ways to
reduce
the potential hazards when young
people
use
the internet daily to interact with various
people
online without any guidance.
Accordingly
, I
highly
recommend that the
governments
should enhance
people’s
awareness in terms of this issue. If this recommendation
is carried
out, the comprehensive development of our future generations will be
ensured
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries no longer feel the need to get married, some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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