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In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effect of this and What can be done to solve this problem. v.3

In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effect of this and What can be done to solve this problem. v. 3
Improving transport will reduce the traffic in many cities, hence, many governments spent huge money in bring latest technologies to make easy mobility for urban people. On the flips side, some people assume development in rural areas are at very slow pace, which affects the living standards of many villagers. In the following passage, I will explain the impact of this trend as well as solution to overcome this issue. Many people from rural areas move to cities to seek quality education and medical facilities, therefore, many urban areas are densely populated. For instance, as the statistics say that, from 2001 to 2010, five hundred thousand people have been displaced to major cities from remote villages, which shows that rural areas are being neglected by the ruling government. Furthermore, many people who are below the poverty line are losing their life, due to insufficient medical facilities in rural areas. Similarly, financial disparity between people living in rural and urban areas are getting widened of late, which states that job opportunities in remote areas are very low. Government need to have 5-year plan to develop rural areas with high class infrastructure facilities, which will reduce the mass migration to cities and improve the quality of life in remote villages. Additionally, elected members from all the rural areas have the responsibility to get the fund from the government to develop the industrial sector in rural areas, which will create more employment for youngsters. Moreover, boycotting elections by some villages had witnessed immediate attention of the government for ignoring the development of remote areas. In conclusion, rural areas are the backbone of any country, thus, it has to developed along with urban areas. Migration towards cities could affect the living standards of city dwellers due to traffic congestion and increasing cost many daily needs. The government should concentrate in developing rural areas which will benefit the nation by economically in various ways.
Improving transport will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
spent huge money in bring
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easy mobility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. On the flips side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow pace, which affects the living standards of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villagers. In the following passage, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the impact of this trend
as well
as solution to overcome this issue.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to seek quality education and medical facilities,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
densely
populated.
For instance
, as the statistics say that, from 2001 to 2010, five hundred thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been displaced
to major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
villages, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
being neglected
by the ruling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are below the poverty line are losing their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
, due to insufficient medical facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Similarly
, financial disparity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are getting widened of late, which states that job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
need to have 5-year plan to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
infrastructure facilities, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the mass migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
villages.
Additionally
, elected members from all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have the responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the fund from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to develop the industrial sector in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, which will create more employment for youngsters.
Moreover
, boycotting elections by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
villages had witnessed immediate attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for ignoring the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
areas.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are the backbone of any country,
thus
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
developed along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Migration towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could affect the living standards of city dwellers due to traffic congestion and increasing cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
daily needs. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should concentrate in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which will benefit the nation by
economically
in various ways.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effect of this and What can be done to solve this problem. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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