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In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasing. What are the causes and solutions for this? v.1

In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasing. What are the causes and solutions for this? v. 1
There are some factors that explain why the living standard of city dwellers is reducing. Personally, I believe that this can be handled by adopting a number of solutions, as will now be presented. Firstly, the air in urban areas is contaminated heavily. The rapid development of industrial activities and the dramatic increase in the volume of vehicles on the roads are associated with the rise in exhaust fume and gas emissions released into the environment. This leads to an increase in the number of people having severe health problems. For example, the poor air quality in big cities like Hanoi and Beijing has been a main cause of some incurable diseases related to respiratory system such as lung and throat cancers that are more common recently. Secondly, the city life is stressful. Many people have to deal with overloaded work in companies, while they usually experience irritating feeling when getting stuck in traffic congestion. This results in anxiety and depression, holding them back from enjoying their lives. However, a range of options available can be used to combat the issue. One measure would be that the governments should encourage industrial zones to relocate to the countryside, which contribute to the improvement of the quality of air in urban areas. For example, the authorities in Vietnam recently have offered financial incentive to move factories and plants to rural regions with hope to make the air in Hanoi cleaner. Another remedy is that people should spend more time engaging in physical exercises outdoors and taking part in social activities, helping them to not only improve their general health, but also relieve pressure from the busy life. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to solve the problems caused by the decrease in the life quality in big cities
There are
some
factors that
explain
why the living standard of city dwellers is reducing.
Personally
, I believe that this can
be handled
by adopting a number of solutions, as will
now
be presented
.

Firstly
, the
air
in urban areas
is contaminated
heavily
. The rapid development of industrial activities and the dramatic increase in the volume of vehicles on the roads
are associated
with the rise in exhaust fume and gas emissions released into the environment. This leads to an increase in the number of
people
having severe health problems.
For example
, the poor
air
quality in
big
cities
like Hanoi and Beijing has been a main cause of
some
incurable diseases related to respiratory system such as lung and throat cancers that are more common recently.

Secondly
, the city life is stressful.
Many
people
have to
deal with overloaded work in
companies
, while they
usually
experience irritating feeling when getting stuck in traffic congestion. This results in anxiety and depression, holding them back from enjoying their
lives
.

However
, a range of options available can be
used
to combat the issue. One measure would be that the
governments
should encourage industrial zones to relocate to the countryside, which contribute to the improvement of the quality of
air
in urban areas.
For example
, the authorities in Vietnam recently have offered financial incentive to
move
factories and plants to rural regions with hope to
make
the
air
in Hanoi cleaner. Another remedy is that
people
should spend more time engaging in physical exercises outdoors and taking part in social activities, helping them to not
only
improve
their general health,
but
also
relieve pressure from the busy life.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to solve the problems caused by the decrease in the life quality in
big
cities
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasing. What are the causes and solutions for this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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