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In many countries, more and more young people are unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society? What can be done to cope with this problem? v.2

In many countries, more and more young people are unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society? What can be done to cope with this problem? v. 2
It is being discussed that a rising number of young adults cannot find jobs after graduating from school. This is essay will provide several consequent bad effects, then followed by solutions. To begin with, youth unemployment may result in serious influences on the young themselves. It is obvious that youngsters, without any job, cannot make a living on their own for occupations are the only source of independent adults’ income. To make matters worse, the young adults may feel depressed if they cannot be employed. Children are educated to survive in the harsh world. If these young people cannot survive the job market, this means that they are meaningless, which can lead them to be frustrated. For another, what the young unemployment brings to the society is the increase in the crime rate. These unemployed people cornered by the livelihood can do anything illegal, including theft or robbery. As a result, there may be more stealing and robbery in the current society. In order to deal with this problem, two effective ways are indispensable. One is that the government ought to create more job opportunities. With an increasing number of employment chances, the young adults may easily be employed. The other is that the government should provide more career training for the unemployed youths. Another possible reason why the young cannot find jobs is that they may lack employable skills. Through vocational training, they may be more likely to be qualified at work. In short, unemployment in the youth might conceivably give rise to poor individuals, who may commit crimes when they face survival difficulties. Two measures are supposed to be proposed to tackle this serious issue.
It is
being discussed
that a rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after graduating from school. This is essay will provide several consequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects, then followed by solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youth unemployment may result in serious influences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
themselves. It is obvious that youngsters, without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
for occupations are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults’
income. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
may feel depressed if they cannot
be employed
. Children
are educated
to survive in the harsh world. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot survive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market, this means that they are meaningless, which can lead them to
be frustrated
. For another, what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
unemployment brings to the society is the increase in the crime rate. These unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cornered by the livelihood can do anything illegal, including theft or robbery.
As a result
, there may be more stealing and robbery in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society.

In order to deal with this problem, two effective ways are indispensable. One is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. With an increasing number of employment chances, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
may
easily
be employed
. The other is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more career training for the unemployed youths. Another possible reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is that they may lack employable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Through vocational training, they may be more likely to
be qualified
at work.

In short, unemployment in the youth might
conceivably
give rise to poor individuals, who may commit crimes when they face survival difficulties. Two measures
are supposed
to
be proposed
to tackle this serious issue.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay In many countries, more and more young people are unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society? What can be done to cope with this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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