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In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? v.6

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 6
Smoking is injurious to health, and despite that, many people continue to smoke. Public smoking has adverse effects on the health of non-smokers. As a result, many countries have banned public smoking. People who want to smoke should leave the premise to avoid annoyance to non-smokers. In my opinion, making public smoking illegal is a positive step and smokers should not smoke in public areas and penalised if caught smoking. Firstly, public smoking has many disadvantages. It leads to passive smoking in non-smokers which has detrimental health effects, especially in children. Moreover, the cigarette smoke pollutes the surrounding air with toxic gases which damages our lungs, and prolonged inhalation of smoke causes fatal respiratory diseases or even lung cancer. Furthermore, it causes problems for people with existing respiratory conditions. For example, people who have asthma have difficulty breathing if they come near smoke. Hence, making public smoking illegal was a wise step. Secondly, making smokers leave buildings such as office or malls avoids inconvenience to non-smokers. It promotes a healthy ambience and is a step closer towards a better society. Additionally, it discourages smoking, particularly among the youth, who quickly develop bad habits. It also improves the economy. For instance, many people prefer to carry out their activities in smoke-free zones. In conclusion, smoking in public places is seriously unhealthy to non-smokers and therefore, banning public smoking is undoubtedly a right decision. It will discourage smoking as well as help avoid any conflict, irritation and problems smokers cause to the public because they will be forced to move out of public areas and buildings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is injurious to health, and despite that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has adverse effects on the health of non-smokers.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the premise to avoid annoyance to non-smokers. In my opinion, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
illegal is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step and smokers should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas and
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
if caught smoking.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. It leads to passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in non-smokers which has detrimental health effects,
especially
in children.
Moreover
, the cigarette
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
pollutes the surrounding air with toxic gases which damages our lungs, and prolonged inhalation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
causes fatal respiratory diseases or even lung cancer.
Furthermore
, it causes problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with existing respiratory conditions.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have asthma have difficulty breathing if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
.
Hence
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
illegal was a wise step.

Secondly
, making smokers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
buildings such as office or malls avoids inconvenience to non-smokers. It promotes a healthy ambience and is a step closer towards a better society.
Additionally
, it discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
particularly
among the youth, who
quickly
develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the economy.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to carry out their activities in smoke-free zones.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places is
seriously
unhealthy to non-smokers and
therefore
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
undoubtedly
a right decision. It will discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
avoid any conflict, irritation and problems smokers cause to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas and buildings.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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