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In many countries in the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. There are two opinions regarding it. On one hand, people believe that this is good for the country. Others believe that government must not allow salaries above certain level. Discus v.3

In many countries in the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. There are two opinions regarding it. On one hand, people believe that this is good for the country. Others believe that government must not allow salaries above certain level. Discus v. 3
While cooperation is being highlighted as the best way of developing in every field, most individuals select to work for themselves in current days. There is a plethora of reasons to stimulate this phenomenon as desire to work independently and also some demerits like monetary stratification as well as the bankruptcy, which I will consider them in detail in the following paragraphs now. Obviously, most people who crave to start their own business are youngsters considered as an enthusiast on working solely for the purpose of being abundant. The next and even more pivotal reason would be for people to be desired in freedom and liberty in which they will not be bothered by the strict regulations of a company or organisation. For example, a person who has been striving to become rich might encounter difficulties like bad bound of colleagues or delayed salary affects to the personal life. Probably, that is why majority of humanity advocates to be self-employed. On the other hand, there are also some drawbacks of labouring yourself. For instance, an individual who is in this way may perhaps be rich as he/she want, but this case does affect the equilibrium of finance among populations. Conversely, if that person fails to achieve the peak, this case also creates defective consequences to the society. Moreover, if they stumble on doing something serious because of lack of knowledge, it may multiply the difficulty and problems. Therefore, according to the above-mentioned points being self-employed has some disadvantages. By way of conclusion, although, lots of merits are popular of this situation to us, its demerits as financially imbalance among society and the increase in high quantity of challenging are undeniable and inevitable.
While cooperation is
being highlighted
as the best way of developing in every field, most individuals select to work for themselves in
current
days. There is a plethora of reasons to stimulate this phenomenon as desire to work
independently
and
also
some
demerits like monetary stratification
as well
as the bankruptcy, which I will consider them in detail in the following paragraphs
now
.

Obviously
, most
people
who crave to
start
their
own
business are youngsters considered as an enthusiast on working
solely
for the purpose of being abundant. The
next
and even more pivotal reason would be for
people
to
be desired
in freedom and liberty in which they will not
be bothered
by the strict regulations of a
company
or
organisation
.
For example
, a person who has been striving to become rich might encounter difficulties like
bad
bound of colleagues or delayed salary affects to the personal life.
Probably
,
that is
why majority of humanity advocates to be self-employed.

On the other hand
, there are
also
some
drawbacks of
labouring
yourself.
For instance
, an individual who is in this way
may perhaps
be rich as he/she want,
but
this case does affect the equilibrium of finance among populations.
Conversely
, if that person fails to achieve the peak, this case
also
creates defective
consequences to
the society.
Moreover
, if they stumble on doing something serious
because
of lack of knowledge, it may multiply the difficulty and problems.
Therefore
, according to the above-mentioned points being self-employed has
some
disadvantages.

By way of conclusion, although, lots of merits are popular of this situation to us, its demerits as
financially
imbalance among society and the increase in high quantity of challenging are undeniable and inevitable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In many countries in the world, some people earn extremely high salaries. There are two opinions regarding it. On one hand, people believe that this is good for the country. Others believe that government must not allow salaries above certain level. Discus v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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