Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Demand for food is increasing worldwide What is the cause of this What measures can the international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough v.1

Demand for food is increasing worldwide What is the cause of this What measures can the international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough v. 1
Nowadays, tourism generates a significant proportion of income for many countries throughout the world, but it has its drawbacks too. In my opinion, I consider this phenomenon can bring about more advantages for economic growth compared to any other problem it might bring. Despite the drawbacks mentioned below, I believe the benefits gained by tourism industry are extremely useful for the country’s future. Firstly, tourist spends money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services. This way, tourism yields an additional income, greatly supporting the country’s economy. Secondly, this increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs. To illustrate further, the influx of tourists results in a larger demand in restaurant workers, tour guides, hotel staff and employees of retail services, exhorting business owners to hire more people for these positions. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when tourists visit the country. One problem is that it can lead to growth in the crime rate. The presence of tourists having large sums of money to spend and carrying expensive jewellery and different devices such as cameras and smartphones, increases the attraction for criminals and brings with it activities such as robbery. Another negative aspect is that many places are being destroyed by tourists who do not behave with respect to nature, ancient buildings, temples and monuments. For example, Red Sea that already lost half of its corals because of people who want to take some to them to their homes or damage them by standing on them. To conclude, although tourists can have certain negative effects, it has an extremely positive influence on the country’s economy and provides a large number of new jobs for the local people.
Nowadays, tourism generates a significant proportion of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
throughout the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has its drawbacks too. In my opinion, I consider this phenomenon can bring about more advantages for economic growth compared to any other problem it might bring.

Despite the drawbacks mentioned below, I believe the benefits gained by tourism industry are
extremely
useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
future.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spends money on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food and medical services. This way, tourism yields an additional income,
greatly
supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
Secondly
, this increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs. To illustrate
further
, the influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
results in a larger demand in restaurant workers, tour guides, hotel staff and employees of retail services, exhorting business owners to hire more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for these positions.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues involved when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. One problem is that it can lead to growth in the crime rate. The presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
having large sums of money to spend and carrying expensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
devices such as cameras and smartphones, increases the attraction for criminals and brings with it activities such as robbery. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who do not behave with respect to nature, ancient buildings, temples and monuments.
For example
, Red Sea that already lost half of its corals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to them to their homes or damage them by standing on them.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can have certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, it has an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and provides
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
new jobs for the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Demand for food is increasing worldwide What is the cause of this What measures can the international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts