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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. v. 1
The trend of living alone or with friends rather than families has gained popularity among the youth all over the world. While this has a few negatives, I agree that this trend is advantageous on the whole. A number of arguments surround my opinion. To begin with, living alone or sharing an apartment with a friend teaches the young adults many things. They become independent, more confident, develop decision-making skills and learn to deal with situations and problems on their own. By contrast, while living with their parents, children have a sense of dependency and security, which may come in the way of their handling things on their own. They may never step out of their comfort zone and consequently, do not learn to handle challenges very well. Furthermore, living away from home encourages the young people to explore more and learn more. They meet new people from different backgrounds and culture, which helps them become more social. However, if they stay with their parents they may not feel the need to socialize or there may be restrictions at home. Such generation gap may spoil the parent-child relationship. It has been rightly said that ‘Distance strengthens relationships. ’ To add to it, when parents know that their children are going to stay on their own just after school, they also start imparting moral values to their children in early childhood, and so by the time the children step out of their homes, they are mature enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. They also learn how to manage expenses related to rent, bills, food, etc. On the other hand, the only drawback is that such freedom to the youth may take them on the wrong path like drug addiction, petty crime, etc. However, I believe that if parents do not shrug away their responsibility completely, and stay connected with their children, this drawback can be taken care of and staying on their own can be very profitable for children in the long run. To conclude, I reiterate my opinion that young adults should live independently, as experience is the best teacher, especially for learning life skills. Family will always be there to support them even if they don’t live with them.
The trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone or with friends
rather
than families has gained popularity among the youth all over the world. While this has a few negatives, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this trend is advantageous
on the whole
. A number of arguments surround my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone or sharing an apartment with a friend teaches the young adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. They become independent, more confident, develop decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to deal with situations and problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. By contrast, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a sense of dependency and security, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the way of their handling things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They may never step out of their comfort zone and
consequently
, do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to handle challenges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home encourages the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to explore more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and culture, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them become more social.
However
, if they stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they may not feel the need to socialize or there may be restrictions at home. Such generation gap may spoil the parent-child relationship. It has been
rightly
said that ‘Distance strengthens relationships. ’

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are going to stay on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after school, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
imparting moral values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in early childhood, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by the time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
step out of their homes, they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. They
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to manage expenses related to rent, bills, food, etc.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
drawback is that such freedom to the youth may take them on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path like drug addiction, petty crime, etc.
However
, I believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not shrug away their responsibility completely, and stay connected with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this drawback can
be taken
care of and staying on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the long run.

To conclude
, I reiterate my opinion that young adults should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
, as experience is the best teacher,
especially
for learning life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Family will always be there to support them even if they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with them.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
373 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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