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In many countries around the world life expectancy is increasing Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your opinion v.2

In many countries around the world life expectancy is increasing Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your opinion v. 2
In modern world thanks to advanced technology the scientists did a lot of number researches on how to lengthen the life of human. This is obvious that the major number of countries show the rise life expectancy. I suppose that it is definitely a benefit trend, also this factor has drawbacks. This essay will discuss a positive and negative aspects. This is common accepted factor that the most people prefer to live longer. Increasing the life durability is considered as a pattern of better life and well-being. There are a lot of advantages, buy the major catch is to have an opportunity to achieve the life objectives such as career and personal life. Despite the fact there have been sad situations when people passed away in old ages and with cureless illnesses, however it worth to feel satisfy of reaching the life goals. At last the long life can help the people to grow up the children to see their important events (graduation, becoming the parents and etc. ), to be successful in their career and be the witnesses of the happiest moments. On the other hand, there are some negative factors to living longer. There are a lot of problems related with disappearance of natural resources when the longevity of population is increasing. The sustainability of environmental resources has been decreased because of people food, wearing and water needs. Subsequently, the durability of the human life might be average. In conclusion, considering all these factors the long life is a blessing given by God. This subject has some advantages on environment aspects, but it could be arranged and has optional solutions.
In modern world thanks to advanced technology the scientists did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
number researches on how to lengthen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of human. This is obvious that the major number of countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. I suppose that it is definitely a benefit trend,
also
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
has drawbacks. This essay will discuss a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

This is common
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
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factor
that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. Increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
durability
is considered
as a pattern of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and well-being. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the major catch is to have an opportunity to achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
objectives such as career and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Despite the fact there have been sad situations when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
passed away in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ages and with
Possible spelling mistake found.
cureless
illnesses,
however
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
worth to feel satisfy of reaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goals. At last the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to grow up the children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
(graduation, becoming the parents
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
, to be successful in their career and be the witnesses of the happiest moments.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
to living longer. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems related with disappearance of natural resources when the longevity of population is increasing. The sustainability of environmental resources has
been decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
food, wearing and water needs.
Subsequently
, the durability of the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
might be average.

In conclusion
, considering all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a blessing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by God. This subject has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages on environment aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could
be arranged
and has optional solutions.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries around the world life expectancy is increasing Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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