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in many countries a small number of people earn extremly high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but other think that government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Give your opinion. v.1

in many countries a small number of people earn extremly high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but other think that government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Give your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, it is normal to notice that a minority of the population have a high salary comparing to the others. Certain person believe that it gives a better image of the country, whereas others think that government should give a range of salary. In my opinion, the issue does not come from the minority of people who are rich, but from equality of lifestyle condition between the population. In this essay I will discuss both views and give reason of my pointview. First of all, government should not limitate the range of salary to a certain level, but gives a minimum who allow people to live correctly. Indeed, there is a divergence in life condition and it gives a certain image to the country. Although, many inhabitant have the possibility to rent or buy a house, it becomes common for people to accept that a small part of the population still sleep in the street because they do not have enough money to rent a flat. According to the professor Emile in his article for the CNRS they are more people in the street than people rich. In fact, rich people represent only 3% of the population, comparing to poor persons who represent over 6%. I believe that the government should not limit the salary to a certain range, but give a minimum and help these people financially by reducing the cost of habitat. Thus, "money does not buy happiness" living correctly and being capable to feed its family should be enough. Furthermore, law and tax should be applied for all the population. People who earn the most are often the people who control public finance. Government instore law and take from people, many tax for diverse reason, such as education and health. However, generally, these people do not have to pay for any of these taxes and their income are traditionally higher than the rest of the inhabitants. For example, the president earns 24 thousand per month and does not have to pay for his house or food. In addition, he can has luxury advantage like travel by jet. Therefore, I am sure that if government start to limit income to a certain level they will not do it for themself because of the numerous advantages. In conclusion, the main issue is not the rich person, but social right and living condition. On one hand, laws and taxes have to be applied by everyone without any exception because of their social position. On the other hand, government should help poor people by giving them a salary who allow them to live correctly.
Nowadays, it is normal to notice that a minority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
have a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
comparing to the others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
person believe that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a better image of the country, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. In my opinion, the issue does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from equality of lifestyle condition between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. In this essay I will discuss both views and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
reason of my
Possible spelling mistake found.
pointview
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
Possible spelling mistake found.
limitate
the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
correctly
.
Indeed
, there is a divergence in life condition and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
image to the country. Although,
Possible agreement error. The noun inhabitant seems to be countable; consider using: "many inhabitants".
many inhabitant
have the possibility to rent or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, it becomes common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to accept that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
still
sleep in the street
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to rent a flat. According to the professor Emile in his article for the CNRS they are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the street than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
represent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, comparing to poor persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
represent over 6%. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
range,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a minimum and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
financially
by reducing the cost of habitat.
Thus
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
money does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
living
correctly
and being capable to feed its family should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Furthermore
, law and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should
be applied
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earn the most are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
control public finance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Possible spelling mistake found.
instore
law and take from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for diverse reason, such as education and health.
However
,
generally
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for any of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
and their income are
traditionally
higher than the rest of the inhabitants.
For example
, the president earns 24 thousand per month and does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or food.
In addition
, he can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
luxury advantage like travel by jet.
Therefore
, I am sure that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to limit income to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
level they will not do it for
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the numerous advantages.

In conclusion
, the main issue is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
social right and living condition. On one hand, laws and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be applied
by everyone without any exception
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their social position.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by giving them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
correctly
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay in many countries a small number of people earn extremly high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but other think that government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
433 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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