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Whilst, majority of individuals think that pupils study superior in school when they learning in group. However, others believe students learn better when they studying alone. I will discuss about both views in the following paragraphs. v.1

Whilst, majority of individuals think that pupils study superior in school when they learning in group. However, others believe students learn better when they studying alone. I will discuss about both views in the following paragraphs. v. 1
There is a wide range of products that are available in the shopping malls. Customers have flocked to a big stores to buy goods and materials. In this essay, I would explain why this a positive development. Since privatisation there has been an influx of big box retailers being established in the cities. With heavy investments come great variety of products that can be imported from other countries and are made available to customers. This in-turn helps people to have a variety of choices before purchasing anything. People can check and see various types of attires, shoes or even earphones that a local shop might not have in their premise. This will help the customers to decide what they want as to what they can choose or offered by local shops. Small retailers have limitations when updating their stock and often they don’t have required sufficient capital to do so. Another benefit for the customers is the price of the product. When it comes to pricing the retailers can afford to give deep discounts to consumers compared to the local shops. Choice and variety dictate a successful business and sadly the local shops haven’t been able offer the same with customers. These recent changes in customer behaviour have impacted the local shops and have been closed, there is hope for the local shops. It is a choice to run away from the competition or to adapt or mould as to the businesses would remain unaffected. I would like to list 2 points that might help the local shops. The local shops can actually survive alongside the larger retailers by supplying local goods that are in demand. Local goods could be materials that are used in religious events to weddings. The shops can also help the malls to stock the goods and products that are popularly used in day to day lives by the locals like a local gas stove that runs on dry coconut and is used by the women to cook some delicious food. By adopting these strategies, it would greatly benefit the local shops and help them shift their focus from competing with co-creating. In conclusion, the availability of large shopping malls has been a welcome change for both people and local shops. The shift in the consumer behaviour has impacted the local shops, however, it has greatly benefited the consumers and wouldn't help the local shops to blossom by diversification and change in strategy.
There is a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are available in the shopping malls.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Customers
have flocked to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
stores to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and materials. In this essay, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
Possible spelling mistake. 'privatisation' is British English.
privatisation
there has been an influx of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
box
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
being established
in the cities. With heavy investments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
great variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that can
be imported
from other countries and
are made
available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. This in-turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have a variety of choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing anything.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
various types of attires, shoes or even earphones that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
might not have in their premise. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to decide what they want as to what they can choose or offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
have limitations when updating their stock and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
they don’t have required sufficient capital to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Another benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
is the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to pricing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
can afford to give deep discounts to consumers compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. Choice and variety dictate a successful business and
sadly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
haven’t been
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'offer'.
able offer
the same with customers.

These recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
have impacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and have
been closed
, there is hope for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. It is a choice to run away from the competition or to adapt or
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
as to the businesses would remain unaffected. I would like to list 2 points that might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can actually survive alongside the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
by supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that are in demand.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
could be materials that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in religious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to weddings. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the malls to stock the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are
popularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
gas stove that runs on dry coconut and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the women to cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
delicious food. By adopting these strategies, it would
greatly
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them shift their focus from competing with co-creating.

In conclusion
, the availability of large shopping malls has been a welcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. The shift in the consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
has impacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
however
, it has
greatly
benefited the consumers and wouldn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to blossom by diversification and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in strategy.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Whilst, majority of individuals think that pupils study superior in school when they learning in group. However, others believe students learn better when they studying alone. I will discuss about both views in the following paragraphs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
407 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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