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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.9

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 9
People works for earning money. It has been said that it has an advantage of any nation having fewer or more people earn high pay scale compare to others. However, I oppose this view. This essay will discuss both views. First of all, we will discuss why high salary benefited for any country. To start with, high salaries are an incentive for others to work harder. Everyone has different work capacity or ability to handle work and if a low salary people sees others who working hard and getting more salary, it will motivate him to work harder and earn same as others. Secondly, everyone has a different skill set and a few of them are highly skilled and few not. People who are highly skilled and talented should be rewarded with high salaries as he has more skill. Companies generally give high salary to these people so they do not leave the company. On the flip side, we do not forget about people who getting low salaries even after working harder. Firstly, the government should ensure that wealth is evenly distributed throughout a country. It solves lots of problems for any society and country and most residents getting equal salaries. Secondly, limiting high salaries will mean more funding for public services which will benefit all people in society. To conclude, in my opinion, governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. It helps to distribute the wealth of country equally to its residents and help country. Also, they can use these funds for public services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
works
for earning money. It has
been said
that it has an advantage of any nation having fewer or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay scale compare to others.
However
, I oppose this view. This essay will discuss both views.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
benefited for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are an incentive for others to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder. Everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
capacity or ability to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and if a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
sees
others who working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and getting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, it will motivate him to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder and earn same as others.
Secondly
, everyone has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set and a few of them are
highly
skilled and few not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are
highly
skilled and talented should
be rewarded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
as he has more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
generally
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the flip side, we do not forget about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who getting low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
even after working harder.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ensure that wealth is
evenly
distributed throughout a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It solves lots of problems for any society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and most residents getting equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
Secondly
, limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
will mean more funding for public services which will benefit all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society.

To conclude
, in my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
above a certain level. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to distribute the wealth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
equally
to its residents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Also
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these funds for public services
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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