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In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 4
Nowadays, people are living in a highly competitive world where they have to prove or learn something new to withstand with their competitor. As a result, some group of people earns more that others. Some people think that it would be helpful to the country and another group of people thinks that there should be certain limit in increasing of salaries. In this essay, I discuss both views and end up with my opinion. To embark with, if a person is highly educated and serves a satisfactory output, then it is mandatory that he got high salary packages. It makes individual growth and also makes country's growth with paying more taxes and revenue of the organization is also increased which is beneficial to the country. To exemplify, CEO of Google is highly paid person who made his position with his intellect and hard work. It is a very proud moment for India that one Indian runs foreign organization. On the other hand, government sometimes not increase salaries of certain people because they contribute funds for high packages for selected persons. This type of biased system can break self esteem of employees and they are not able to work efficiently. As the result of this system, there would be a two group which results in richer person becomes more rich and poor person become more poor. So, government should provide equal opportunities to every employee to boost their confidence which gives them high salary packages and also balanced community. To reiterate, government should restructure salary policies and make sure that won't create any biased system and make a balanced civilization.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in a
highly
competitive world where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prove or learn something new to withstand with their competitor.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earns more that others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would be helpful to the country and another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that there should be certain limit in increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. In this essay, I discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with my opinion.

To embark with, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
highly
educated and serves a satisfactory output, then it is mandatory that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
packages. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
individual growth and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
country's growth with paying more taxes and revenue of the organization is
also
increased which is beneficial to the country. To exemplify, CEO of Google is
highly
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who made his position with his intellect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud moment for India that one Indian runs foreign organization.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they contribute funds for high packages for selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
. This type of biased system can break
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employees and
they are not able to work
efficiently
. As the result of this system, there would be a two group which results in richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
becomes more rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
become more poor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide equal opportunities to every employee to boost their confidence which gives them high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
packages and
also
balanced community.

To reiterate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should restructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
policies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure that won't create any biased system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a balanced civilization.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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