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In many countries, a few people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is a positive thing for the country. Other people believe that governments should not allow salaries to be over a certain level. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion. v.1

In many countries, a few people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is a positive thing for the country. Other people believe that governments should not allow salaries to be over a certain level. v. 1
It is true that in several countries, there are certain people who earn very high salaries. Some people believe that it is a positive thing for the country while others beg to differ. In my opinion, I feel that even though there are benefits, it poses a more negative impact in the country. To start with, most of the high earning people hold reputable positions within the organisation. These positions with the high wages are offered to those with high academic qualifications or years of experiences. Therefore, people who yearn for such positions strive for academic excellence in order to be considered for the job. In addition, this also attracts the workers of lower positions to work harder in hopes of achieving higher level one day. This ensures that the organisation will always have proper leaders at the helm, instead of mediocre personnel Although offering very high salaries might seem positive, it also has its drawbacks. It is worth considering that there are only limited high positions which provide very high wages. Hence, when all the positions are filled, the rest of the staff members are unlikely to promote and remain at their current role, earn significantly lesser. As a result, there would unrest and a loss of motivation within the workers of the company. For instance, workers further down the hierarchy would feel that it is unfair to them as even if they strive, they sill would be underpaid. Especially whereby the workers are the core to achieving progress and contributing to the business performance. Therefore, this disharmony would cause the team to become less efficient in the long run. In conclusion, it seems to me that it would be better, on balance, for the government to set a limit on the wages on the highest earners in society. The salary also should be performance based in order to promote employees to work hard and boost their morale.
It is true that in several countries, there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing for the country while others beg to differ. In my opinion, I feel that
even though
there are benefits, it poses a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in the country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold reputable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
within the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages
are offered
to those with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
academic qualifications or years of experiences.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who yearn for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
strive for academic excellence in order to
be considered
for the job.
In addition
, this
also
attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
of lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
to work harder in hopes of achieving higher level one day. This ensures that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
will always have proper leaders at the helm,
instead
of mediocre
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
personnel


Although offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries might seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, it
also
has its drawbacks. It is worth considering that there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
which provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages.
Hence
, when all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
are filled
, the rest of the staff members are unlikely to promote and remain at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
role, earn
significantly
lesser.
As a result
, there would unrest and a loss of motivation within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
further
down the hierarchy would feel that it is unfair to them as even if they strive,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they sill
would be underpaid.
Especially
whereby the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are the core to achieving progress and contributing to the business performance.
Therefore
, this disharmony would cause the team to become less efficient in the long run.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that it would be better, on balance, for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to set a limit on the wages on the highest earners in society. The salary
also
should be performance based in order to promote employees to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and boost their morale.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, a few people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is a positive thing for the country. Other people believe that governments should not allow salaries to be over a certain level. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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