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One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. The developed nations in the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. v.1

One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. The developed nations in the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. v. 1
Artwork represents an amazing display of the artist’s thinking. There are a few museums and art exhibitions which charge payment to enter, whereas, others have no ticket for entrance. Whether admission should be charged or not, advantages and disadvantages can be identified. This essay will discuss these items in an effort to prove one group better than the other. Art studios and galleries have high maintenances. They need money to pay their staff, take care of important heritage and other artistic work, maintain law and order and provide clean and neat environment to the visitors. Also, charging a nominal fee will decrease the number of guests and burden on the management. For example, Karachi art museum closed down because of lack of resources. This practice will prevent the important historical buildings from turning into haunted houses. Despite the positive aspects, there are potential drawbacks of collecting fees. It is difficult for the poor population to afford two meals a day yet alone pay to view the history and other creativities. This will also make the building a less attractive site for tourists who are on a tight budget. To illustrate, the entry ticket of Chicago Gallery was so expensive that it hardly had any visitor during the weekdays. Therefore, such practice will deprive the poor and travellers of viewing important landmarks in the country’s history. In conclusion, some museums charge admission pass while others offer free entrance. In my opinion, I think the positive aspects outweigh the negative one, and collecting a nominal fee is important to preserve the historical buildings and heritage which is more important.
Artwork represents an amazing display of the artist’s thinking. There are a few museums and art exhibitions which charge payment to enter, whereas, others have no ticket for entrance. Whether admission should
be charged
or not, advantages and disadvantages can
be identified
. This essay will discuss these items in an effort to prove one group better than the other.

Art studios and galleries have high maintenances. They need money to pay their staff, take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
heritage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
artistic work, maintain law and order and provide clean and neat environment to the visitors.
Also
, charging a nominal fee will decrease the number of guests and burden on the management.
For example
, Karachi art museum closed down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of resources. This practice will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
historical buildings from turning into haunted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, there are potential drawbacks of collecting fees. It is difficult for the poor population to afford two meals a day
yet
alone pay to view the history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativities
. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the building a less attractive site for tourists who are on a tight budget. To illustrate, the entry ticket of Chicago Gallery was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive that it hardly had any visitor during the weekdays.
Therefore
, such practice will deprive the poor and
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
of viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
landmarks in the country’s history.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
museums charge admission pass while others offer free entrance. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
one, and collecting a nominal fee is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to preserve the historical buildings and heritage which is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay One of the major problems facing the world today is the growing number of refugees. The developed nations in the world should tackle this problem by taking more refugees. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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