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In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around. v.1

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around. v. 1
The significant rises of the population, fast paced life, crime rate and dependency on technology in the urban areas make more people become unacquainted and unfriendly to their neighbours. However, there are measures that can be taken to alleviate this issue. In today’s technology dependent era, people are mostly busy with their own work. Major streets in the cities are filled with busy people walking fast to reach their office or business place. They are even busy talking to their office colleagues and family members over the phone. After they return home late evening, they watch television, use computer and the Internet or spend time with family members. They scarcely have any time to socialise with neighbours. In some scenarios, people do not even know who live next door in city areas. These are the everyday scenarios in the cities where social interactions could be rarely seen as individuals have no time to socialise and much focused on their own work or personal interests. Again, the rampant acceleration of crimes in the urban community makes individual become unnecessarily cautious and suspicious about other people, especially with the people they meet for the very first time. Even trusting their own neighbourhood would be tough for them as they are in constant fear of being harmed. As a result inhabitants of cities tend to become isolated as they are afraid to mingle because of undeveloped acquaintance. Unlike rural areas, where comparatively fewer people live together, city areas are highly populated and it is not unlikely that several thousands of people live in a block. Maintaining social relationship with all of them is this thus quite impossible. On the other hand, considering possible measures to improve a sense of community in the neighbourhood community officials must organise programmes regularly to encourage camaraderie. Secondly, building more parks, social gathering places, community centres and children’s playground in the community could be a good measure to let people socialise and know each other. This is also helpful for meeting friends, bonding with family and neighbours. As a result, people living in the community would develop a sense of friendship. Positive news and events among community members should be highlighted in media to eradicate the fear people have about unknown people. Finally, organising different community groups to help people find others with same interest and to share common passions is a very effective measure to help people enhance their neighbouring bonds and relationship in my opinion. To sum it up, city life and overwhelming population should not be hindrances to our sense of community and our relationship with our neighbours. It would be nicer for the community to develop a friendly environment to create a better place to live in with all the neighbours.
The significant rises of the population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life, crime rate and dependency on technology in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become unacquainted and
unfriendly
to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
that can
be taken
to alleviate this issue.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s technology dependent era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mostly
busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work. Major streets in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are filled
with busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
walking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to reach their office or business place. They are even busy talking to their office colleagues and family members over the phone. After they return home late evening, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer and the Internet or spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members. They
scarcely
have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scenarios,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not even know who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
next
door in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. These are the everyday scenarios in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where social interactions could be rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as individuals have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and much focused on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work or personal interests.

Again, the rampant acceleration of crimes in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individual become
unnecessarily
cautious and suspicious about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Even trusting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
would be tough for them as they are in constant fear of
being harmed
.
As a result
inhabitants of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
tend to become isolated as they are afraid to mingle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of undeveloped acquaintance. Unlike rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, where
comparatively
fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
highly
populated and it is not unlikely that several thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a block. Maintaining social relationship with all of them is this
thus
quite impossible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, considering possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
officials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
regularly
to encourage camaraderie.
Secondly
, building more parks, social gathering places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and children’s playground in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. This is
also
helpful for meeting friends, bonding with family and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
would develop a sense of friendship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Positive
news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
members should
be highlighted
in media to eradicate the fear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have about unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Finally
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
groups to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find others with same interest and to share common passions is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enhance their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
bonds and relationship in my opinion.

To sum it up, city life and overwhelming population should not be hindrances to our sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and our relationship with our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. It would be nicer for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
to develop a friendly environment to create a better place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in with all the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
457 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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