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In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
It is worth considering whether separate areas for individual purposes. While many planners would like to arrange educational institutions and entertainment venues independently. I personally agree with this idea. To begin with, following this idea can bring many drawbacks. It can be inconvenient for the students who live in the suburbs to reach their schools every day and have less access to the centre of the city as they may have to transfer many stations and buses or even travel several kilometres. For instance, new dwellers find it difficult to purchase furniture. If schools and corporations are built in the same area, it is more likely to cause road congestion on the main roads. Increased use of cars will emit harmful gases and aggravate the greenhouse effect. However, having this plan in urban cities, it can control the population. I believe that many families would choose to live near the schools or their companies. Moreover, this suggestion also encourages more and more firms to move to the suburbs which leads to a decrease in pollution in the cities and an increase in employment rate. Besides, arranging shops in specific areas such as suburbs can make the lives in suburbs easier as well as they can get anything they want more expediently. Furthermore, the center of cities have more space for stunning natural landscape. In conclusion, although it can bring disadvantages in some respects, I completely agree with it. However, there is still a long way to develop this scheme.
It is worth considering whether separate areas for individual purposes. While
many
planners would like to arrange educational institutions and entertainment venues
independently
. I
personally
agree
with this
idea
.

To
begin
with, following this
idea
can bring
many
drawbacks. It can be inconvenient for the students who
live
in the
suburbs
to reach their schools every day and have less access to the
centre
of the city as they may
have to
transfer
many
stations and buses or even travel several
kilometres
.
For instance
, new dwellers find it difficult to
purchase
furniture. If schools and corporations
are built
in the same area, it is more likely to cause road congestion on the main roads. Increased
use
of cars will emit harmful gases and aggravate the greenhouse effect.

However
, having this plan in urban
cities
, it can control the population. I believe that
many
families would choose to
live
near the schools or their
companies
.
Moreover
, this suggestion
also
encourages more and more firms to
move
to the
suburbs
which leads to a decrease in pollution in the
cities
and an increase in employment rate.
Besides
, arranging shops in specific areas such as
suburbs
can
make
the
lives
in
suburbs
easier
as
well as they can
get
anything they want more
expediently
.
Furthermore
, the center of
cities
have
more space for stunning natural landscape.

In conclusion
, although it can bring disadvantages in
some
respects, I completely
agree
with it.
However
, there is
still
a long way to develop this scheme.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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