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In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? v.4

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? v. 4
An increasing number of people are choosing to live in high rise apartment blocks. In my opinion, although these blocks of flats are often cheaper, they cramped living space and can present serious fire risks. On the obvious advantage to living in multi-story apartment block is that it offers people affordable accommodation in urban areas. With the growth of urban population, land is becoming increasingly expensive and, as a result, many people are no longer afford to their own house. Large apartment blocks require a small area of land but can provide a lot of flats which enable people on low income to continue living near city centres and near their jobs. However, high rise apartment blocks usually offer small apartments with no outdoor areas. For families, this can be a problem as each individual member of the family has little personal space which can result build up tension as relationships can become strained. Another problem is that such restricted living quarters offer no space for exercise which is a vital requirement for healthy living. Finally, one of the worst problems of living in a high rise block of flats is the fire risk that it presents. If a fire should break out in one of the flats, the number of floors in the building means that people can become easily trapped on the top floors, unable to escape the fire. This was unfortunately illustrated by the Grenfell tower block fire that claimed 71 lives in London 2017. The speed with which the fire spread through the 24 floor, made it impossible for everyone to escape. In conclusion, large blocks of flats may be offer cheaper living option, but they also offer people lower quality accommodation with serious fire risks.
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
. In my opinion, although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cheaper, they cramped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
space and can present serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

On the obvious advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in multi-story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
block
is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
affordable accommodation in urban areas. With the growth of urban population, land is becoming
increasingly
expensive and,
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no longer afford to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Large
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apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
require a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area of land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
which enable
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people
on low income to continue
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living
near city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and near their jobs.

However
, high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
with no outdoor areas. For families, this can be a problem as each individual member of the family has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
personal space which can result build up tension as relationships can become strained. Another problem is that such restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
quarters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
no space for exercise which is a vital requirement for healthy living.

Finally
, one of the worst problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
block
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that it presents. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
should break out in one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
, the number of floors in the building means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become
easily
trapped on the top floors, unable to escape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
. This was unfortunately illustrated by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grenfell
tower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
block
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
that claimed 71
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in London 2017. The speed with which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
spread through the 24 floor, made it impossible for everyone to escape.

In conclusion
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blocks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
may be
Consider using a past participle here: "offered".
offer
cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lower quality accommodation with serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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